Singles

I referenced a bad movie from the early nineties not too long ago in Reality Bites... For some unknown reason there is a debate about whether Singles or Reality Bites is better. Cameron Crowe's involvement in Singles is the reason that a movie that features cameos by Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, and Tim Burton is not remembered in the Pantheon of nineties movies. Engaging in this debate is somewhat inane. They both suck, but in the spirit of that debate (if Chuck Klosterman can do it why can't I) I am going to let you know about some of the best Singles in the league to this point.

Kevin Martin- This guy plays for what might be one of the worst teams in recent memory not GM'd by Billy King or Isiah Thomas. These guys rely on Ron Artest to be their guide, and I am struggling to think of a guide that has been this bad since the Donner Party. Too bad we will never get a chance to see John Candy play Ron Artest in a movie. Kevin Martin is scoring 25 points a game. How long can this last when defenses have to worry about respecting Kenny Thomas and Shareef Abdur Rhahim? I am sure Reggie Theus can figure out a way to get these guys to at least feed their dogs if he can impose a curfew. Martin though is a genuine talent, and another one of those guys that can just flat out move with the ball in his hands. For that matter he can move without it in his hands. This guy looks like another Rip Hamilton in the making if anyone on his team figures out how to set a screen and give him the ball in open space to shoot. Some team needs to figure out what it will take for Sacramento to make a trade to get this guy some print in an article that more than a dozen people will read. This guy is so money and no one even knows it.

I know I am supposed to maintain a theme using the Singles references, but I cannot in good faith make references to a Cameron Crowe movie for an entire column. I mean I hated myself for wanting to call Kevin Martin Almost Famous. Lets just change this focus to great individual starts for the season. I feel better about myself even though that is a lame title, at least you know I am not obligated to completely fuck up the end of the piece as Crowe seems to find a way to do with pretty much every movie you want to name.

Kelenna Azkubuike- 15 pts and 5 rbds a game. Another undrafted Kentucky product, ala Chuck Hayes, who has been passed around like a bad case of the clap, is making Golden State look smart for picking him up here. He has been cut twice, and word has it that both the Cavaliers and Rockets tried to patent his ass as a seat warmer and sell the rights to Cadillac before they sent him packing after a smattering of preseason games. You think Cleveland does not need someone who can score the ball and play hard every evening. I wonder how many times a week Lebron James lights paper sacks full of dog crap on fire at Danny Ferry's doorstep? If I were Lebron I would do this after every loss, and I wouldn't bother to run. This guy comes from a group of players that Ferry's Midas touch has sent to other teams without getting any compensation for what so ever. Awesome. Azkubuike is going to be good enough to get minutes with Stephen Jackson back in the line up as John Hollinger astutely points out in his surprises column. To show you that I am not going to copy Hollinger's list I am going to mix it up here.

Kobe Bryant- Ok I lied maybe I am going to take a Cameron Crowe approach here and use over used plot device/subject that people can't argue with in the middle of the piece, but stay with me. Bryant has not been so great for what he has done, but what he hasn't. Needy superstar, yes. Player, a Bigger Yes. Bryant has put up his numbers and made his teammates better, and last time I checked the Lakers should still suck according to Kobe's assesment of the team this summer. Bryant could kill this team if he wanted to, and force a trade out of LA like Vince Carter and Alonzo Morning did in Toronto. Kobe likes to win though, and the thought of sitting back like Vince did to force a trade makes Kobe Beatrix Kiddo angry. He might decide to assasinate the rest of the league Black Mamba style in spite of Mitch Kupchak and not because of him. Kobe's abduction of this nickname is still unforgivable though. However thinking about Kobe wanting to be a six foot tall blonde woman make me laugh. My point stands though. Kobe could have submarined this team, and the Lakers could have started the way that we all expected them to when Kobe was being more vocal about his lack of a supporting cast.

Rafer Alston for being the only player in the league paid by every other team. Rafer flat out kills the Rockets when he is on the floor even when his numbers don't show it. Steve has proved he can be better, on this very night. Rafer is worth a draft pick right now for a team that needs someone who can dribble into traps and shoot 21% on threes. Someone will take him. Even if they won't, Adleman needs to bench him to send a message to the team that is mired in a losing stretch that cannot really be condoned given this team's roster. If you run another team wouldn't you pay Rafer Alston pay well enough to make sure that he just played the way he always has at crucial points in the game. I am imagining other teams in the league convincing Alston to take a pill that makes him totally oblivious to all the film available film of Rockets games that should convince him to pass the damn ball and stay out of corners. They pay him enough to make his salary not worth enough to play well when it matters for the Rockets.

Dwayne Wade. The man called out The Big Lazy and everyone agreed. Wade has an opportunity here. It is obvious that his team cannot win without him. He will dictate the Heat's performance as long as he play in South Beach. This guy can flat out change the game by talking about it. Shaq came out to play early in the season for the first time in years.

Dwight Howard is the next Shaq. The Magic should start playing all of their games in the old pin stripe black uniforms when Shaq was breaking backboards for the fun of it. Shaq used to be a show stopper because he broke the show. Howard is damn good. He needs to be more like Shaq and less like Tim Duncan in demeanor because his team is more like Shaq's. Meaning his GM can only find one or two decent guys to put around him instead of the R.C. Buford model of finding a lot of good players to put around the best player in basketball. Howard could be the best player in a couple years. This something to watch. The man can jump. He can flat out play both ends of the game. This guy could be better than every other in the game.

Here are a few great people to watch starting this season. More to come soon. This had to be less painful than a Cameron Crowe production. The Captain siging off.