Alright, I had to take a break after that for a little bit. Hopefully T.J. will be OK. I left off with the Cavs, a B. We probably don't need to explain any further that Lebron equals a chance, no Lebron equals no chance.

The Ordinary Average Guys

C+: The Atlanta Hawks: They probably deserve a B, since they have won seven of their last eleven including the loss tonight. They are damned impressive when they are out on the break. No one can stop Josh Smith, except Josh Smith. If life is a highway, Josh Smith is his own speed bump. This guy can jump like a young Shawn Kemp, another power forward that couldn't get out of his own way. Marvin Williams continues to improve, and make the Hawks look less idiotic for nor taking Chris Paul or Deron Williams. Marvin can play, but he looks lost sometimes. The thing that scares me about the development of this team is that it Joe Johnson almost seems to resent that he has to be the go to guy on this team. Isn't that why he came to Atlanta? His remarks the other night after a win were to the effect of, "I shouldn't have to bail us out, we should have won by 20." You are one of the only guys on this team that has been legal to drink for more than two years. It is your responsibility as the supposed grown up to lead this team. Stop bitching and start playing the part, or the Landlord will evict your ass. Ok, Shelden Williams isn't evicting anyone, but the nickname still makes me laugh. I think I will give them a B- because of Shelden's nickname and striking looks.

C+: The Indiana Pacers. I have no reason to change my mind here. A team that will do nothing in the playoffs, and really is a team in between having to blow up the roster and trying to contend. They have been since Auburn Hills. This team is not that compelling, and they continue to get into disturbing incidents off the court. A good start means nothing for this team, look at the last couple of years. Blow it up.

C: The Washington Wizards. They are even in the win-loss column without Gil. Last season without Gil they looked like a Jerry Bruckheimer movie without the explosions, a Cinemax movie without nudity, a pizza without cheese. Oh people do that. People also get excited about bad basketball team. The only reason to watch this team is not playing, and threw out dates concerning his return that ranged between now and when your cable guy actually shows up to fix something. Still, props for keeping the ship afloat. If I am on this ship, I am getting off at the next port though.

The GED division

C-: The Milwaukee Bucks. I want to like them. I actually really do. Micheal Redd is great when he is not injured. Bobby Simmons is hurt more often than Redd, and if you remember he was on the cusp of being a really exciting player when he left the Clips. It was like the Clippers luck followed him to Milwaukee. Andrew Bogut is Australian and talks shit about the hip-hop lifestyle. How many of his teammates talk to him? About the same number that can carry on a fluent conversation with Yi. Despite that the team can put up some good games, and play a compelling style of basketball when they don't look like the young mishmash of players that they are.

D+: New Jersey Nets. I'll tell you right now this is not a grade they like to give out. I wanted to give these guys a failing grade. Any team that has Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, and Richard Jefferson in the East should be well over .500. History shows that they get their shit together and play well enough in streaks to tease their fan base. They look to be in about the same position this year. Rod Thorn will hold this team together like a redneck keeps a '79 Chevy truck together. The NBA equivalent of bondo and chicken wire will keep this beater passing the state inspection for just long enough to slip into the playoffs.

Remedial Bracket

D: Charlotte Bobcats. One step forward, and two steps back. They add talent and play below expectations. They spend some money and don't win games.They put Micheal Jordan in the front office and allow him to stay. The UNC weiner rubbing contest that MJ brings with him everywhere he goes is not good for anybody outside of Chapel Hill. Other than the fans of basketball teams in every other NBA city except Charlotte.

D-: Philly's 76'ers. The first step to getting help is admitting you have a problem. Philadelphia is starting anew,and they really should. They are on the right track.

The Give 'Em a Shovel and Teach 'Em to Dig Bracket

F:Miami. Good thing half of the guys has no reason to believe that Karma shouldn't be bighting them in the ass right now. Good thing the the other half have every reason to believe it should. I like watching them loose. Which way to their next huge embarrassing failure?

F: Chicago. This one really is confusing. Then you look at their shooting percentages, and spit out the Maddenesque comment, "Well you can't win games if you don't score points." Chicago execute every part of the game except for shooting. If you are taking a test this is like saying you can do everything, but answer the question coherently.

F: New York. Turd Sandwich.

The Captain signing off.