Have Stranger Things ACTUALLY Happened?

Since the Captain is kicking my ass in posting, I decided it was high time to get back in the mix here, and by "getting back in the mix" I mean "piggy-backing on his idea because I'm useless."

By the way, I'm breaking out some N*E*R*D for writing music.

(Yes, as a matter of fact I AM the whitest person you'll ever meet.)

250-1: If you're a sports fan at all, then you know that Kobe demanding a trade was one of the biggest sports stories of the summer. The prognosis on the Lakers 2007-2008 season was, well, not good to say the least (by the way, if you just noted that prognosis doesn't exactly fit in the previous sentence then, well, get a job sir). Anyways, their season looked like it was going to be awful. They ran out Kobe (who is a certified bad ass) and a supporting cast of Lamar Odom (meh), Ronny Turiaf (ugh), Chris Mihm (yes, apparently they actually pay him) and the pu pu platter. It seemed the possibility of seeing the Lakers in the playoffs was about as good as seeing Roman Polanski get invited to a girl's thirteenth birthday party. Then all of the sudden...

Andrew Bynum! Apparently they were right to hold on to him. Then you have Jordan Farmar doing for ears what Cyrano de Bergerac did for noses. Seriously, I think those things give him some extra lift.

Now maybe Kobe ultimately doesn't want to be part of a rebuilding project, but is it really a rebuilding project when they have a record like, well, that leads me to my next point.

45-1: Records folks. If I was to ask you (assuming you had a rudimentary knowledge of the league but hadn't seen any games this season) to rank these teams based on where you'd think they'd be sitting record wise, how would you rank the following?

Lakers, Jazz, Hornets, Nuggets, Trailblazers, Mavericks, Suns, Spurs

Would you have expected in to look like this from the top of the conference down?

1. (tie) Spurs/Suns
2. (tie) Mavs/Hornets
3. Lakers
4. Nuggets
5. Blazers
6. Jazz

Crazy, right? The young teams have really come out to play this season in a way that people weren't expecting (myself included). Houston, a preseason favorite, has essentially crapped the bed. The top of the conference is about what you'd expect (Spurs, Suns, Mavs) but did anyone expect Hornets, Lakers and Blazers to not only be in it, but nipping on the big dogs' heels?

This turn of events seemed about as likely as seeing Mark Foley coaching a high school wrestling team.

70-1: Maybe this is out of order, but whatever. First of all, serious props to one of our four loyal readers, Tnilk, for pointing out the following surprising statistics:

11 Seasons, per 40 minutes averages: Points - 27.2 Rebounds - 5.2 Assists - 5.0

9 Seasons, per 40 minutes averages: Points - 25.0 Rebounds - 6.9 Assists - 4.1


The first player is Kobe Bryant. Guess who the second player is.

No really. Guess.

Paul Pierce.

Does this mean we need to reconsider Paul Pierce's career? I don't think you'd find a lot of people who think he sucks or anything, but that's his numbers compared to a player from his own era, a guy that a lot of people call the best player in the league. I suppose if the Truth gets himself an 81 point game then we can officially start the discussion.

(thanks to www.basketball-reference.com for the stats)

These stats seemed less likely than the possibility of the release of "Chinese Democracy."

1-230: The Knicks suck. Isiah Thomas is still their coach. David Stern is sitting idly by while James Dolan runs one of the most profitable franchises all the way through to China.

James Dolan as owner. Zeke as coach and GM. This is what we call the 7-2 off suit or as a friend of mine calls it, Operation Iraqi Freedom. Just a bad idea all around.


-Dusty