Almost two weeks without a post. Dusty and I can't complain about having readers if we don't write anything. Especially after a crazy two weeks in the Association that we have not adequately addressed. The Kidd trade... The Cavs trade... The fact that Pheonix looks lost with the Big Washed Up... Mike Bibby to the Bandit's hood ornament... Today...
We start with today. Why? Because I write this and it hurts. Catharsis. The Rockets are on a twelve game winning streak, hopefully we still get the penthouse streak. I think the number has something to do with Yao going down with an injury we didn't even see in a game. A broken foot because of a stress fracture at a young age when you rely on your feet to make a living is not a good thing. It's weird, I have felt really strange about this winning streak for the entire time... I just didn't want to get excited. I started to think maybe it would be OK to get excited about the Rockets. We were overcoming the failed signings/trades for the artist formerly known as the franchise and I'm Mike James bitch! The guy that people have (wrongly) complained about being too soft for years effectively called out his team. We made reasonable trades. Bobby Jax for a week rotation player and one that doesn't play at all for a guy that looks like the second part of a point guard tandem that doesn't make me feel like I have to let everyone know that Rafer (despite this great stretch) kills us late in games. We got the most underrated dunker in the game. Birthday cake has a great amount of talent. Maybe we can find a way to use it since Adelman has been getting the most out of young players. We started rough, but we were coming on strong. I didn't want to believe it. I was getting there. I was Wiley Coyote about to go for the Road Runner's jugular, and now I am wearing an anvil and my head is buried in a brick wall. I was actually wondering if it was bad that Dallas was closing in on Magloire. We would be better of playing small ball with Landry and Scola on the floor.
Mike Bibby went to the Hawks. A trade the Hawks had to make up for screwing up every decision concerning a point guard for the last half decade. Wait a minute was this a good decision. Mike Bibby is the worn out version of Chauncey Billups. Great contract coming out of a great post season, overrated from there on out for the most part. Both are very good players, considered to be good clutch guys, but both are not nearly what their rep would suggest. Bibby is being brought in to make up for the worst draft day decision since Darko, on par with the Kwame pick, maybe even Sam Bowie territory. Bibby isn't bad, but I would rather have the Williams or Paul. The Hawks finally made a trade, but it might have been a day late and a dollar short. I don't know that more than twelve people in Atlanta actually noticed anyway. If you land a point guard in a city of 3 million plus and no one cares, did you actually get one?
Speaking of broken down point guards... The Ponies got their Kidd, and yes I realize that riding a C.S. Lewis pun to this point has to be really annoying. My employers live to annoy the shit out of me with references of the same type, I subject you to such in order to maintain my sanity. There isn't much left. Back to Mark Cuban's little pony, the Mavs haven't looked that smart for making this trade to this point. Maybe they needed a shot in the arm to get the city involved, but the reality of the situation is that the few Mavs fans I consider basketball fans haven't lived in Dallas for a long time if ever. People in Dallas may have noticed, but they had to google when Kidd played there last and why it was a big deal that he was coming back. Shit, I still haven't analyzed the trade. The Mavs should have kept Devin Harris and got a vet that played shooting guard or center that could have inspired change without giving up rotation players. A classic Cuban move that looks great, but will cost so much that you resent hom for making it until it just doesn't work, just like you said it wouldn't. I know that was a spectacular run-on sentence. Comma splice like mutha. Fragment. Anyway, don't look for Kidd to grow a floppy haircut and make Dirk feel warm inside. You sent you meal ticket to the desert...
Speaking of the purple people, Pheonix has taken a short term hit with the Shaq trade. Yes, Shaq scoring 7 and grabbing 10 is worse than the Matrix doing the same. I don't blame Phx for ditching him, but I bring in AK instead. Shaq has the pedigree, however he has been washed up since he got to Miami. This is the midlife crisis move of buying a shit used Porsche instead of a slightly used BMW. Miami wouldn't have won the title that year if the East didn't suck, and the Mavs didn't have the constitution of a ten year old on December 26th who just watched their Christmas puppy get hit by a Prius and die slowly. Was that over the line? Phx and San Antonio and/or LA might be an interesting series because of the rivalry, but I don't see Phx having fixed any holes other than making some of the ones they had slightly smaller in the mental category. Other than the fact that Kurt Thomas is a better defender than Shaq. Where is he now? Ask Dusty, he might know. Anyone who comes out of the West wins a chance, but a puncher's chance is just that.
Now to Bron. The Cavs get Wally, the worldest biggest clock that runs slow now, and Delonte West. Wally shoots better than Donyell. Big Ben is more reliable than Drew Gooden at his specialties, and West, though questionable at times, is a better point guard than Larry "I duped everybody" Hughes. They got better. To continue the car analogy: They didn't have to get much better to make Lebron happier, but would you be happier with three new Camaros or a Ferrari? Camaros aren't terrible if you have a mullet, but a Ferrari when you already have one is a lot cooler than three Camaros. Lebron and any other guy who demands a double team would have been an impressive team. Lebron and three more guys who make you play one on one honestly instead of running a lax zone is better than what he had. Lebron and another guy who confuses other people would have been crazy. Maybe a big trade wasn't possible this season... I used elispes gratuitously in this post...
The Captain signing off for now...
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
The West is the Best
The Bestern conference is going to be a thrity game fight to the end. The 1-9 spots are only determined by 4 1/2 games. I have never seen a race this close from top to bottom at the break, and if I had a research department I would have them substantiate the claim that this is the first time that this has been close. I know that if all these teams finish with fifty wins it will be the first time that a fifty win team didn't make the playoffs. Fifty games in the East would make you a homecourt lock. Why in the hell don't they make it a best 16 teams format, as Reggie Miller compelling says. A team like New Jersey being showcased in a post season match up is the worst ideal since making Micheal Corleone a concerned old man. The Eastern Conference first round is about as compelling as the Godfather 3; it doesn't destroy the whole franchise but it sure would be better without it.
That being the case, I am going to rank the top teams in the West 1-9, and yes the Rockets being in and out of the #9 spot is why I am going one outside the playoff bracket. However, they do have the same record as the 7,8, and 9 teams.
9: The Roy Munson of the group, especially if they finish at 9. I think they will. Denver has Melo and AI. That makes them tough enough that no one will want to play them, especially if they make a trade to shore up their backcourt, and give themselves a true passing guard who shoots a decent percentage from 3. I don't think they can do it. Their cap situation also sucks. They are Roy Munson because they are the best bowler on the lanes working with a rubber hand, which means they won't win everything. They have a good team with an amazing amount of talent spread among four individuals that can actually use it. Basketball teams have more than four people on the floor at one time.
8:Houston, we have a problem. This team is Jim Lovell in Apollo 13. For the obvious reason that NASA mission control is right outside of Houston, but beyond that we are in a shitty situation where we are going to have to take miscellaneous shit and turn it into an air filtration system for a space craft. The hodge podge backcourt is still and issue. However, we seem to be having the kind of luck that could sling shot us around the dark side of the moon and to our destination. We won't land on the moon Larry O'Brien style, but we might make it out of the second round. Maybe Tracy wins the first round for us with some amazing clutch shots and will be as big a hero as the inanimate carbon rod.
7: Golden State. This is the Mike Tyson of the group. I know that Mike is not a fictional character, but he is stranger than fiction much like this team. The Nellyball resurgence is refreshing, and the fact that they make Phoenix's shot selection look prudent and win close games makes no sense. This team scares everyone, and part of it is because Capt'n Jack can produce that same look that Tyson can that makes anyone on the receiving end know that they are in for an ass whipping. If you look at what this team gets by on, it is literally the fact that they will push their attack to the limits of absurdity, and rumor has it that Boris Yeltsin actually stands in for Don Nelson some games.
6: D-loss. The Ponies appear that they will still get their Kidd. This team is Fredo Corleone. You can't like them. They are getting Kidd for what amounts to Devin Harris and two first rounders. Not a terrible trade since Kidd is running on bald tires at this point. They just seem like they are destined to play their cards wrong in the hopes of ascending beyond their own ability. Then just like Fredo someone will take them fishing on their figurative lake and leave them at the bottom. They won't be good enough or smart enough to get out of the West, and out of the shadow of the other team in Texas with legit title hopes.
5: Micheal Corleone from parts 1&2 resides in San Antonio. Although this year they have looked a little more like Mike from part 3. We can only hope this is their way of sandbagging opponents. Really, if you look closely, this team, if it gets healthy at the right time, will have all the tools. More importantly they have the cunning to kill all comers without them knowing that its coming. They will just have a moment right before it happens where they realize that the good guy who seemed reasonable was cold blooded as hell, enter Timmy.
4: Utah. A dark horse team, and people will not talk about them as having a legit shot at the title. They should. However, I am going to call this team Stillwater from Almost Famous. They have all the parts to be great, but they can't play together. I blame it on the coach, just like I blame Crowe for destroying great casts. Sloan denigrating is not, and has never been in fashion. However, he has the least used best weapon in the NBA in his prime. A coach's job is to get a moody or bitchy player motivated to show that they can dominate. Sloan makes AK cry. Sloan has been let off the hook many times because he got beat by MJ. I think maybe he could get more out of the roster he has right now. He made the Jazz competitive at times when they shouldn't have been, but they have never had a solid ending. Sloan directs teams the same way Cameron Crowe directs his movies. Great characters and pieces, but the ending always leaves you scratching your head and cursing about the last decisions.
3: L.A. Lakers. This team got a Christmas Present. I am calling them Ralphie. No one expected them to be a team of consequence at the beginning, but they will beat the shit out of someone who was supposed to be better than them at the end. The Pau trade was a gift, Kupchak wisely will not look the gift horse in the mouth. I really hope they don't make it out of the West. They could.
2: Phoenix. We don't know what we have here until Shaq gets on the floor with them. They are Crash Davis from Bull Durham. They ordered a head doctor for Amare in Shaq. Will it work? If Amare is Meat then maybe so. Shaq has been to the bigs, so Amare will listen to him. Will Shaq be able to fit with the rest of the Suns without destroying the way the team has made itself succesful in the past? If he isn't Crash he will look like Wormtongue from Lord of the Rings.
1: New Orleans. They are Rocky. Everyone will want root for them, but they will get beaten to a bloody pulp by a better team. They could come back and win the big one later though.
The Captain signing off...
That being the case, I am going to rank the top teams in the West 1-9, and yes the Rockets being in and out of the #9 spot is why I am going one outside the playoff bracket. However, they do have the same record as the 7,8, and 9 teams.
9: The Roy Munson of the group, especially if they finish at 9. I think they will. Denver has Melo and AI. That makes them tough enough that no one will want to play them, especially if they make a trade to shore up their backcourt, and give themselves a true passing guard who shoots a decent percentage from 3. I don't think they can do it. Their cap situation also sucks. They are Roy Munson because they are the best bowler on the lanes working with a rubber hand, which means they won't win everything. They have a good team with an amazing amount of talent spread among four individuals that can actually use it. Basketball teams have more than four people on the floor at one time.
8:Houston, we have a problem. This team is Jim Lovell in Apollo 13. For the obvious reason that NASA mission control is right outside of Houston, but beyond that we are in a shitty situation where we are going to have to take miscellaneous shit and turn it into an air filtration system for a space craft. The hodge podge backcourt is still and issue. However, we seem to be having the kind of luck that could sling shot us around the dark side of the moon and to our destination. We won't land on the moon Larry O'Brien style, but we might make it out of the second round. Maybe Tracy wins the first round for us with some amazing clutch shots and will be as big a hero as the inanimate carbon rod.
7: Golden State. This is the Mike Tyson of the group. I know that Mike is not a fictional character, but he is stranger than fiction much like this team. The Nellyball resurgence is refreshing, and the fact that they make Phoenix's shot selection look prudent and win close games makes no sense. This team scares everyone, and part of it is because Capt'n Jack can produce that same look that Tyson can that makes anyone on the receiving end know that they are in for an ass whipping. If you look at what this team gets by on, it is literally the fact that they will push their attack to the limits of absurdity, and rumor has it that Boris Yeltsin actually stands in for Don Nelson some games.
6: D-loss. The Ponies appear that they will still get their Kidd. This team is Fredo Corleone. You can't like them. They are getting Kidd for what amounts to Devin Harris and two first rounders. Not a terrible trade since Kidd is running on bald tires at this point. They just seem like they are destined to play their cards wrong in the hopes of ascending beyond their own ability. Then just like Fredo someone will take them fishing on their figurative lake and leave them at the bottom. They won't be good enough or smart enough to get out of the West, and out of the shadow of the other team in Texas with legit title hopes.
5: Micheal Corleone from parts 1&2 resides in San Antonio. Although this year they have looked a little more like Mike from part 3. We can only hope this is their way of sandbagging opponents. Really, if you look closely, this team, if it gets healthy at the right time, will have all the tools. More importantly they have the cunning to kill all comers without them knowing that its coming. They will just have a moment right before it happens where they realize that the good guy who seemed reasonable was cold blooded as hell, enter Timmy.
4: Utah. A dark horse team, and people will not talk about them as having a legit shot at the title. They should. However, I am going to call this team Stillwater from Almost Famous. They have all the parts to be great, but they can't play together. I blame it on the coach, just like I blame Crowe for destroying great casts. Sloan denigrating is not, and has never been in fashion. However, he has the least used best weapon in the NBA in his prime. A coach's job is to get a moody or bitchy player motivated to show that they can dominate. Sloan makes AK cry. Sloan has been let off the hook many times because he got beat by MJ. I think maybe he could get more out of the roster he has right now. He made the Jazz competitive at times when they shouldn't have been, but they have never had a solid ending. Sloan directs teams the same way Cameron Crowe directs his movies. Great characters and pieces, but the ending always leaves you scratching your head and cursing about the last decisions.
3: L.A. Lakers. This team got a Christmas Present. I am calling them Ralphie. No one expected them to be a team of consequence at the beginning, but they will beat the shit out of someone who was supposed to be better than them at the end. The Pau trade was a gift, Kupchak wisely will not look the gift horse in the mouth. I really hope they don't make it out of the West. They could.
2: Phoenix. We don't know what we have here until Shaq gets on the floor with them. They are Crash Davis from Bull Durham. They ordered a head doctor for Amare in Shaq. Will it work? If Amare is Meat then maybe so. Shaq has been to the bigs, so Amare will listen to him. Will Shaq be able to fit with the rest of the Suns without destroying the way the team has made itself succesful in the past? If he isn't Crash he will look like Wormtongue from Lord of the Rings.
1: New Orleans. They are Rocky. Everyone will want root for them, but they will get beaten to a bloody pulp by a better team. They could come back and win the big one later though.
The Captain signing off...
Saturday, February 16, 2008
I was tempted to type a post consisting only the following words "Dwight Howard" for my entire post, but brevity is not my thing. Goodness, this was so exciting I forgot to drink my beer. Gerald Green wasn't bad either, Dr. J was right that the barefoot dunk didn't get enough credit. The Birthday Cake dunk was just surreal. Any other year and Green wins, he is Dwight Howard's Steve Francis when Vince won in Oakland. If you rememeber they had that dumb ass wheel of furtune dunk thing that year that screwed Stevie. I have never seen anyone jumb higher in person than Francis around that time frame. Back to Dwight though... seeing someone that big jump like that was just baffling. I can't imagine having been in person. He was compared to Shawn Kemp tonight, which I have done before, but this was something all together different. The Reign Man could get his head over the rim, but I really thought Dwight was going to start levitatitng David Blane style just to start messing with people.
Next year people are going to have to walk on water to get tens, or maybe just jump over a tank full of sharks with laser beams on their heads. If you didn't watch this years competition, get to YouTube immediately. People will have this shit posted in the next thrity seconds. I promise. Dwight Howard's first dunk from behind the backboard could only have been done by someone his size. He made being seven feet tall work to his advantage. Anyone who has ever watched this competition knows that this is the only time in basketball when being that tall is a disadvantage. Dwight did this after the NBA for whatever reason refused to move the goal up to twelve feet for the second straight year. David Stern needs to go ahead and announce that he will comply with any Dunk Contest realted request Dwight has for the rest of his career in a public statement tomorrow.
Really, if you can't appreciate this then to quote Charles Barkley you don't like at-a let-icks. At least twice I jumped off of my couch and yelled "That's not True, that's Impossible!" The Dunk Contest is back.
The dunk contest amazes me because I cannot even imagine having the at-a -let-ick ability to even begin thinking about doing anything that remotely looks what was done this evening. I could enter a drinking contest with them though. The Captain signing off...
Next year people are going to have to walk on water to get tens, or maybe just jump over a tank full of sharks with laser beams on their heads. If you didn't watch this years competition, get to YouTube immediately. People will have this shit posted in the next thrity seconds. I promise. Dwight Howard's first dunk from behind the backboard could only have been done by someone his size. He made being seven feet tall work to his advantage. Anyone who has ever watched this competition knows that this is the only time in basketball when being that tall is a disadvantage. Dwight did this after the NBA for whatever reason refused to move the goal up to twelve feet for the second straight year. David Stern needs to go ahead and announce that he will comply with any Dunk Contest realted request Dwight has for the rest of his career in a public statement tomorrow.
Really, if you can't appreciate this then to quote Charles Barkley you don't like at-a let-icks. At least twice I jumped off of my couch and yelled "That's not True, that's Impossible!" The Dunk Contest is back.
The dunk contest amazes me because I cannot even imagine having the at-a -let-ick ability to even begin thinking about doing anything that remotely looks what was done this evening. I could enter a drinking contest with them though. The Captain signing off...
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The Ponies and their Kidd
Sorry for the obscure title reference, see if you cna figure it out on your own. Also, sorry for the absence, I have been indisposed in what people tell me is the real world. Fuck that. I am back to my real world now. Somehow in my real world Devean George has the power to block a Jason Kidd to the left testicle of the NBA. I really don't know how George has this authority, and somehow I don't understand George's logic. I certainly understand not wanting to go to New Jersey because the best thing they have going for them is that tehy are moving to Brooklyn. Last I heard that wasn't the best place to raise a family either. On a short aside, what happens to Spike Lee when the Nets move to Brooklyn? He is from Brooklyn, but he is a die hard Knicks fan. Do we get a Yankees-Mets rivlary if they finally move? Do I care? Um, let think... NO!
Back to the point, I would like that Devean has the power to do this just because I know that Mavs fans everywhere are waiting impatiently with puckered starcookies. On the other hand I don't like this because this was another classic example of Mark Cuban spending money when he is bored in away that would hurt the team in the long run. Kidd's numbers are not much better than Harris's. Stack is a wash since the Nets intend to buy him out, adn Dallas would sign him after 30 days. The funny thing is that George is nothing more than an ecpiring contract. Kidd is old, and while he might be a leader that could yell at Dirk when he decided to disappear, he is not the Jason Kidd that Phoenix traded way. He is not the Jason Kidd that couldn't push the Nets pass the four games in the finals with a team that wasn't that much worse than Dallas's roster after that trade. Look at that NJ roster. Martin, Kidd, Kittles, Van Horn, and all young and quick.
For those of you that don't understand Dusty and I's irrational hatred of the Ponies, I submit the following. Most Mavs fans don't even remember when Jason Kidd played for them. They probably don't know that the other two J's were Jimmy Jackson and Jamal Mashburn. They probably don't realize that everywhere Kidd has left got better soon after his departure. They probably don't know who Mark Aguirre is or Rolando. Really, Dallas fans have fallen in love with a free spending computer nerd, a floppy haired Canadian, and ze German. The floppy one now plays in the desert because the computer nerd decided it would be better to spend his contract money on a guy that plays 15 minutes a night when he is on his game. That and Dallas just kind of sucks as a town. It is the shittiest big city in Texas. Their fans don't know much about the game.
Kidd for that matter has a way of out staying his welcome everywhere he has gone. The man can pass the ball, and shoot 36% from the field. Makes him kind of like Drew Barrymore with a beard. Not sure that I buy it unless I drink a lot more. Kidd for that matter is coasting on rep. He may be pulling a Shaq. I can't stand this. I make 20 million a year, but I don't like it here so I am going to bitch my way out of here faster than Ricky Bobby's dad at Applebee's. What spoiled little brats, or big ones actually.
So given all this, I hope the trade does get done with or without the inconsequential piece who has found a way to be of consequence in order guaruntee he doesn't get paid less next year. These two, the D-losses and Kidd, deserve each other, neither one has ever won much of consequence. If the deal goes through it will stay that way.
ALL-STAR weekend posts to come. The Captain signing off for now...
Back to the point, I would like that Devean has the power to do this just because I know that Mavs fans everywhere are waiting impatiently with puckered starcookies. On the other hand I don't like this because this was another classic example of Mark Cuban spending money when he is bored in away that would hurt the team in the long run. Kidd's numbers are not much better than Harris's. Stack is a wash since the Nets intend to buy him out, adn Dallas would sign him after 30 days. The funny thing is that George is nothing more than an ecpiring contract. Kidd is old, and while he might be a leader that could yell at Dirk when he decided to disappear, he is not the Jason Kidd that Phoenix traded way. He is not the Jason Kidd that couldn't push the Nets pass the four games in the finals with a team that wasn't that much worse than Dallas's roster after that trade. Look at that NJ roster. Martin, Kidd, Kittles, Van Horn, and all young and quick.
For those of you that don't understand Dusty and I's irrational hatred of the Ponies, I submit the following. Most Mavs fans don't even remember when Jason Kidd played for them. They probably don't know that the other two J's were Jimmy Jackson and Jamal Mashburn. They probably don't realize that everywhere Kidd has left got better soon after his departure. They probably don't know who Mark Aguirre is or Rolando. Really, Dallas fans have fallen in love with a free spending computer nerd, a floppy haired Canadian, and ze German. The floppy one now plays in the desert because the computer nerd decided it would be better to spend his contract money on a guy that plays 15 minutes a night when he is on his game. That and Dallas just kind of sucks as a town. It is the shittiest big city in Texas. Their fans don't know much about the game.
Kidd for that matter has a way of out staying his welcome everywhere he has gone. The man can pass the ball, and shoot 36% from the field. Makes him kind of like Drew Barrymore with a beard. Not sure that I buy it unless I drink a lot more. Kidd for that matter is coasting on rep. He may be pulling a Shaq. I can't stand this. I make 20 million a year, but I don't like it here so I am going to bitch my way out of here faster than Ricky Bobby's dad at Applebee's. What spoiled little brats, or big ones actually.
So given all this, I hope the trade does get done with or without the inconsequential piece who has found a way to be of consequence in order guaruntee he doesn't get paid less next year. These two, the D-losses and Kidd, deserve each other, neither one has ever won much of consequence. If the deal goes through it will stay that way.
ALL-STAR weekend posts to come. The Captain signing off for now...
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Destroying the Environment and NBA Teams...Diesel
Sorry for the absence. I've been...lazy.
I would be upset about the Spurs recent skid (although they have won their last two, but they are currently in a WAY too tight game with a beat up Washington team), but being that it's an even numbered year, I wasn't really expecting big things out of the Spurs...ok, that's sort of a cop-out.
(This is my thought process in the last week)
The Lakers got Pau? Damn. That makes them legitimately frisky. They can throw out a pretty good lineup with Mister .4 back at the point. I legitimately hate the Lakers again. Damn, the West is even stronger now. This is the worst trading deadline ever...
wait, what?
The Suns traded Marion for SHAQ? AYSOMF?
(end of thought sequence)
Ladies and gentlemen, this might be one of the worst trades ever. No, really. And you thought the Chris Webber pick up made no sense. Let me break down for you why this is idiotic.
Suns' thought process (based on previous actions): We need a good post defender to handle teams like San Antonio, because Amare collects fouls like Smither's collects Malibu Stacy dolls.
Suns' action: Dump Kurt Thomas as a cost saving measure. For those of you not keeping track at home, he was the ONLY guy who could even sort of defend Tim Duncan.
Suns' thought process: We need to clear some cap space for our team, presumably to stay away from the luxury tax line, because we need to be prepared to rebuild in a few years instead of maximizing the potential of a team (the best one we've had since Sir Charles) that will only last as long as our aging point guard with the bad back.
Suns' action: Dump a relatively cheap effective Duncan defender in Kurt Thomas. Trade away one of the most useful players in our highly specialized offense (and about the only decent defender on the team) for a giant, washed up Shaquille O'Neal. Look, I'm willing to grant that Shaq was one of the most, if not THE most, dominate players to ever play the game, but he WAS. Now maybe D'Antoni and Kerr have very different ideas in where this team is going, but throwing an overweight, out of shape, slow center onto a team that needs to run and gun is a TERRIBLE idea, even if you want to change the teams identity (considering they won around sixty games every year Nash has been there, I don't think the system is all that broken). Problem number two, Shaq's contract is HUGE.
Suns' thought process: We have chemistry issues. We need to clear this up.
Suns' action: Signing one of the biggest egos in league history. Nice job guys.
Look, there must have been other viable options out there. I mean, what was wrong with making a trade with Utah? If you're going to take on a giant contract attached to an injury prone player, at least get someone still in their twenties who can play in your system. Plus Kirilenko has that weird "free pass" night once a year with his wife (which can't go over well in Utah), and if the Coen brothers taught us anything, it's that people in Arizona are swingers (besides Nic Cage, of course). Plus Utah's big men handled Duncan in the Western Conference Finals pretty well last year. No, the Suns couldn't have taken Boozer or even the Turkey product, but Harpring maybe?
Apparently it is Shaq's destiny to be the piece that teams mortgage their future on. Somehow it fluked into a championship for the Heat, but they've had to quickly dump his out-of-shape ass.
I could be wrong, in fact I'm pretty sure I WILL be wrong, but from where I'm sitting, this looks like a stupid trade...well, stupid for them, great for fans of every other Western Conference team.
-Dusty
I would be upset about the Spurs recent skid (although they have won their last two, but they are currently in a WAY too tight game with a beat up Washington team), but being that it's an even numbered year, I wasn't really expecting big things out of the Spurs...ok, that's sort of a cop-out.
(This is my thought process in the last week)
The Lakers got Pau? Damn. That makes them legitimately frisky. They can throw out a pretty good lineup with Mister .4 back at the point. I legitimately hate the Lakers again. Damn, the West is even stronger now. This is the worst trading deadline ever...
wait, what?
The Suns traded Marion for SHAQ? AYSOMF?
(end of thought sequence)
Ladies and gentlemen, this might be one of the worst trades ever. No, really. And you thought the Chris Webber pick up made no sense. Let me break down for you why this is idiotic.
Suns' thought process (based on previous actions): We need a good post defender to handle teams like San Antonio, because Amare collects fouls like Smither's collects Malibu Stacy dolls.
Suns' action: Dump Kurt Thomas as a cost saving measure. For those of you not keeping track at home, he was the ONLY guy who could even sort of defend Tim Duncan.
Suns' thought process: We need to clear some cap space for our team, presumably to stay away from the luxury tax line, because we need to be prepared to rebuild in a few years instead of maximizing the potential of a team (the best one we've had since Sir Charles) that will only last as long as our aging point guard with the bad back.
Suns' action: Dump a relatively cheap effective Duncan defender in Kurt Thomas. Trade away one of the most useful players in our highly specialized offense (and about the only decent defender on the team) for a giant, washed up Shaquille O'Neal. Look, I'm willing to grant that Shaq was one of the most, if not THE most, dominate players to ever play the game, but he WAS. Now maybe D'Antoni and Kerr have very different ideas in where this team is going, but throwing an overweight, out of shape, slow center onto a team that needs to run and gun is a TERRIBLE idea, even if you want to change the teams identity (considering they won around sixty games every year Nash has been there, I don't think the system is all that broken). Problem number two, Shaq's contract is HUGE.
Suns' thought process: We have chemistry issues. We need to clear this up.
Suns' action: Signing one of the biggest egos in league history. Nice job guys.
Look, there must have been other viable options out there. I mean, what was wrong with making a trade with Utah? If you're going to take on a giant contract attached to an injury prone player, at least get someone still in their twenties who can play in your system. Plus Kirilenko has that weird "free pass" night once a year with his wife (which can't go over well in Utah), and if the Coen brothers taught us anything, it's that people in Arizona are swingers (besides Nic Cage, of course). Plus Utah's big men handled Duncan in the Western Conference Finals pretty well last year. No, the Suns couldn't have taken Boozer or even the Turkey product, but Harpring maybe?
Apparently it is Shaq's destiny to be the piece that teams mortgage their future on. Somehow it fluked into a championship for the Heat, but they've had to quickly dump his out-of-shape ass.
I could be wrong, in fact I'm pretty sure I WILL be wrong, but from where I'm sitting, this looks like a stupid trade...well, stupid for them, great for fans of every other Western Conference team.
-Dusty
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Questions???... really, I mean... really
To the two or three of you that read this:
- Was David Stern involved in this Pau Gasol trade? Is this a Ewing draft day kind of thing.?
- Can anyone who wants to bitch about the Pats losing please just blame Bill Simmons for comparing them to the '86 Celtics two weeks before the Super Bowl.
- Should I even be remotely convinced that the T-Mac resurgence will work for more than one round into the playoffs? They are using the same team as last year with three rookies augmenting the team that couldn't dispatch the Jazz. The West isn't worse this year. Not yet. If people get hurt some of them will probably be Rockets.
- Should Dusty worry about the now listless Spurs? Is Eva Longoria going to end up being Dennis Rodman's Madonna or his Carmen Electra? Tony Romo's Jessica Simpson? A better question is how many indignant fans would have done anything different if they were in the position (excuse the pun) of these athletes? Tony Parker is a winner if the Spurs never win another game. He isn't Dennis Rodman and he doesn't play for a team in Dallas. The other reason is obvious.
- Did John Hollinger steal my ideal for a Kidd to the Hawks trade? Refer back to the archives, I did suggest this.
- Will Chris Webber's leg fall off in a game? It has to be a bionic leg if a running team like the Warriors signed him right? Has this procedure been mastered.
- Is Lebron about to take over the league and make the rest of these question invalid? If they can trade for any decent piece this guy will make Cleveland the Buffalo Bills of the NBA. Wait. That isn't good.
- Will the Kyle Korver trade go down as one of the best moves of the season? Kyle Korver? People call him Ashton Kutcher, that means this could be the Butterfly Effect for the NBA. Why did I reference that movie? Why?
- Jeff Foster is coveted? Indy won't trade him for anything? A guard who isn't a target? A forward who wants to be there? A person who makes Larry Bird look like a great execuctive?
- Why don't NBA players get traded more often? The salary cap can be managed in the NFL. Movement would make this more exciting. Any NBA trade brings light to my life. I admitted that, shit.
- Has there ever been a team that played so far below expectations as this year's Miami Heat? Look at projections. No one expected Minnesota to get the Lion's share of optimism between these teams this close to the All-Star break. Is this a result of Shaq's downward inertia literally sucking a whole team into the abyss of the NBA dredges as he masquerades as the Fridge's cousin?
I really loved watching the Pats lose, and yes I know that wasn't a question.
The Captain signing off for now...
- Was David Stern involved in this Pau Gasol trade? Is this a Ewing draft day kind of thing.?
- Can anyone who wants to bitch about the Pats losing please just blame Bill Simmons for comparing them to the '86 Celtics two weeks before the Super Bowl.
- Should I even be remotely convinced that the T-Mac resurgence will work for more than one round into the playoffs? They are using the same team as last year with three rookies augmenting the team that couldn't dispatch the Jazz. The West isn't worse this year. Not yet. If people get hurt some of them will probably be Rockets.
- Should Dusty worry about the now listless Spurs? Is Eva Longoria going to end up being Dennis Rodman's Madonna or his Carmen Electra? Tony Romo's Jessica Simpson? A better question is how many indignant fans would have done anything different if they were in the position (excuse the pun) of these athletes? Tony Parker is a winner if the Spurs never win another game. He isn't Dennis Rodman and he doesn't play for a team in Dallas. The other reason is obvious.
- Did John Hollinger steal my ideal for a Kidd to the Hawks trade? Refer back to the archives, I did suggest this.
- Will Chris Webber's leg fall off in a game? It has to be a bionic leg if a running team like the Warriors signed him right? Has this procedure been mastered.
- Is Lebron about to take over the league and make the rest of these question invalid? If they can trade for any decent piece this guy will make Cleveland the Buffalo Bills of the NBA. Wait. That isn't good.
- Will the Kyle Korver trade go down as one of the best moves of the season? Kyle Korver? People call him Ashton Kutcher, that means this could be the Butterfly Effect for the NBA. Why did I reference that movie? Why?
- Jeff Foster is coveted? Indy won't trade him for anything? A guard who isn't a target? A forward who wants to be there? A person who makes Larry Bird look like a great execuctive?
- Why don't NBA players get traded more often? The salary cap can be managed in the NFL. Movement would make this more exciting. Any NBA trade brings light to my life. I admitted that, shit.
- Has there ever been a team that played so far below expectations as this year's Miami Heat? Look at projections. No one expected Minnesota to get the Lion's share of optimism between these teams this close to the All-Star break. Is this a result of Shaq's downward inertia literally sucking a whole team into the abyss of the NBA dredges as he masquerades as the Fridge's cousin?
I really loved watching the Pats lose, and yes I know that wasn't a question.
The Captain signing off for now...
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Hatin!
The Lakers got Pau Gasol. Think about thi line up in the fourth quarter of a play off game: Derek Fisher, Kobe Bryant, Lamar Odom, Pau Gasol, and Andrew Bynum. That, folks, is a team that not too many people are going to want to match up against. It also allows me to do something that I haven't been able to do with proper fervor in quite awhile. That is hate the Lakers. I have log disliked this franchise, especially when it was Shaq and Kobe together. Now that the Lakers are almost certain to have homecourt in the playoffs(I hope I can jinx them)it is going to be much easier to really hate this team the way I used to when they were making shots with .4 seconds on the clock. As I told you when we started this blog hating a team can be almost as much fun as loving a team. The Lakers are like the Yankees of basketball because they are never very bad for very long, even over the last few years when you knew they couldn't win it all they were making it to the playoffs. Kobe is just a very unlikeable guy on top of that. I never liked Shaq, but the Fredo move Kobe pulled was something that not enough people have held on to.
Add to all of this that the Lakers always have the press's undenying admiration and adoration. They will be all over them again, and referencing the Showtime Lakers enough to make you think that Chevy Chase might show up wearing 99 for a game. Jack sitting on the sidelines is entertaining because I like Jack, I just wish he was flying over another cuckoo's nest. What a terrible play on words. Anyway, I am sure that Bill Walton will end up commentating some of these games and just gushing like a proud mother when her little boy has brought home the prettiest girl in school. Except Bill's teeth will actually harder to look away from than anything on the court. Going back to things that have just been flat out forgotten, does anyone remember the press talking about how much Kobe was going through when he was going through the Eagle, CO trial? How does a man on trial for something like this get sympathy from the press? Because he plays for the Lakers. That is one reason that seems plausable to me.
Add to all of this that for some reason I have never really been able to get behind the ideal of cheering for Pau Gasol and this is genuinely a big development. Pau never really got me excited though he is a fundamentally sound player who seems to do all the right things. The whining about being Memphis for the last couple of years didn't help. Your in Memphis, eat good BBQ go to Blues shows adn enjoy your millions of dollars. Players who whine their way off of teams have always aggrevated me because it's really hard to like someone who bitches about making millions of dollars. I would gladly sit on the bench for the worst team in the league and collect the league minimum check. I would make a career out of it. I would be making more than 95% of the population to be a member of an organization that plays a game. So if you are a guy with a max or near max contract shut your damn mouth and play the game. You are paid absurd amounts of money. Pau's whining falls into this category.
All of this brings me back to my original point. I really don't like the Lakers, but when they weren't a title threat they were too innocous to really give teh full treatment. Now I can really get back to hating them the right way. This season has been a real boon for such activities with the resurgence of the Celtics too. Now all we need is for the Knicks to be good again...
The Captain signing off for now...
Add to all of this that the Lakers always have the press's undenying admiration and adoration. They will be all over them again, and referencing the Showtime Lakers enough to make you think that Chevy Chase might show up wearing 99 for a game. Jack sitting on the sidelines is entertaining because I like Jack, I just wish he was flying over another cuckoo's nest. What a terrible play on words. Anyway, I am sure that Bill Walton will end up commentating some of these games and just gushing like a proud mother when her little boy has brought home the prettiest girl in school. Except Bill's teeth will actually harder to look away from than anything on the court. Going back to things that have just been flat out forgotten, does anyone remember the press talking about how much Kobe was going through when he was going through the Eagle, CO trial? How does a man on trial for something like this get sympathy from the press? Because he plays for the Lakers. That is one reason that seems plausable to me.
Add to all of this that for some reason I have never really been able to get behind the ideal of cheering for Pau Gasol and this is genuinely a big development. Pau never really got me excited though he is a fundamentally sound player who seems to do all the right things. The whining about being Memphis for the last couple of years didn't help. Your in Memphis, eat good BBQ go to Blues shows adn enjoy your millions of dollars. Players who whine their way off of teams have always aggrevated me because it's really hard to like someone who bitches about making millions of dollars. I would gladly sit on the bench for the worst team in the league and collect the league minimum check. I would make a career out of it. I would be making more than 95% of the population to be a member of an organization that plays a game. So if you are a guy with a max or near max contract shut your damn mouth and play the game. You are paid absurd amounts of money. Pau's whining falls into this category.
All of this brings me back to my original point. I really don't like the Lakers, but when they weren't a title threat they were too innocous to really give teh full treatment. Now I can really get back to hating them the right way. This season has been a real boon for such activities with the resurgence of the Celtics too. Now all we need is for the Knicks to be good again...
The Captain signing off for now...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)