The West is the Best

The Bestern conference is going to be a thrity game fight to the end. The 1-9 spots are only determined by 4 1/2 games. I have never seen a race this close from top to bottom at the break, and if I had a research department I would have them substantiate the claim that this is the first time that this has been close. I know that if all these teams finish with fifty wins it will be the first time that a fifty win team didn't make the playoffs. Fifty games in the East would make you a homecourt lock. Why in the hell don't they make it a best 16 teams format, as Reggie Miller compelling says. A team like New Jersey being showcased in a post season match up is the worst ideal since making Micheal Corleone a concerned old man. The Eastern Conference first round is about as compelling as the Godfather 3; it doesn't destroy the whole franchise but it sure would be better without it.
That being the case, I am going to rank the top teams in the West 1-9, and yes the Rockets being in and out of the #9 spot is why I am going one outside the playoff bracket. However, they do have the same record as the 7,8, and 9 teams.

9: The Roy Munson of the group, especially if they finish at 9. I think they will. Denver has Melo and AI. That makes them tough enough that no one will want to play them, especially if they make a trade to shore up their backcourt, and give themselves a true passing guard who shoots a decent percentage from 3. I don't think they can do it. Their cap situation also sucks. They are Roy Munson because they are the best bowler on the lanes working with a rubber hand, which means they won't win everything. They have a good team with an amazing amount of talent spread among four individuals that can actually use it. Basketball teams have more than four people on the floor at one time.

8:Houston, we have a problem. This team is Jim Lovell in Apollo 13. For the obvious reason that NASA mission control is right outside of Houston, but beyond that we are in a shitty situation where we are going to have to take miscellaneous shit and turn it into an air filtration system for a space craft. The hodge podge backcourt is still and issue. However, we seem to be having the kind of luck that could sling shot us around the dark side of the moon and to our destination. We won't land on the moon Larry O'Brien style, but we might make it out of the second round. Maybe Tracy wins the first round for us with some amazing clutch shots and will be as big a hero as the inanimate carbon rod.

7: Golden State. This is the Mike Tyson of the group. I know that Mike is not a fictional character, but he is stranger than fiction much like this team. The Nellyball resurgence is refreshing, and the fact that they make Phoenix's shot selection look prudent and win close games makes no sense. This team scares everyone, and part of it is because Capt'n Jack can produce that same look that Tyson can that makes anyone on the receiving end know that they are in for an ass whipping. If you look at what this team gets by on, it is literally the fact that they will push their attack to the limits of absurdity, and rumor has it that Boris Yeltsin actually stands in for Don Nelson some games.

6: D-loss. The Ponies appear that they will still get their Kidd. This team is Fredo Corleone. You can't like them. They are getting Kidd for what amounts to Devin Harris and two first rounders. Not a terrible trade since Kidd is running on bald tires at this point. They just seem like they are destined to play their cards wrong in the hopes of ascending beyond their own ability. Then just like Fredo someone will take them fishing on their figurative lake and leave them at the bottom. They won't be good enough or smart enough to get out of the West, and out of the shadow of the other team in Texas with legit title hopes.

5: Micheal Corleone from parts 1&2 resides in San Antonio. Although this year they have looked a little more like Mike from part 3. We can only hope this is their way of sandbagging opponents. Really, if you look closely, this team, if it gets healthy at the right time, will have all the tools. More importantly they have the cunning to kill all comers without them knowing that its coming. They will just have a moment right before it happens where they realize that the good guy who seemed reasonable was cold blooded as hell, enter Timmy.

4: Utah. A dark horse team, and people will not talk about them as having a legit shot at the title. They should. However, I am going to call this team Stillwater from Almost Famous. They have all the parts to be great, but they can't play together. I blame it on the coach, just like I blame Crowe for destroying great casts. Sloan denigrating is not, and has never been in fashion. However, he has the least used best weapon in the NBA in his prime. A coach's job is to get a moody or bitchy player motivated to show that they can dominate. Sloan makes AK cry. Sloan has been let off the hook many times because he got beat by MJ. I think maybe he could get more out of the roster he has right now. He made the Jazz competitive at times when they shouldn't have been, but they have never had a solid ending. Sloan directs teams the same way Cameron Crowe directs his movies. Great characters and pieces, but the ending always leaves you scratching your head and cursing about the last decisions.

3: L.A. Lakers. This team got a Christmas Present. I am calling them Ralphie. No one expected them to be a team of consequence at the beginning, but they will beat the shit out of someone who was supposed to be better than them at the end. The Pau trade was a gift, Kupchak wisely will not look the gift horse in the mouth. I really hope they don't make it out of the West. They could.

2: Phoenix. We don't know what we have here until Shaq gets on the floor with them. They are Crash Davis from Bull Durham. They ordered a head doctor for Amare in Shaq. Will it work? If Amare is Meat then maybe so. Shaq has been to the bigs, so Amare will listen to him. Will Shaq be able to fit with the rest of the Suns without destroying the way the team has made itself succesful in the past? If he isn't Crash he will look like Wormtongue from Lord of the Rings.

1: New Orleans. They are Rocky. Everyone will want root for them, but they will get beaten to a bloody pulp by a better team. They could come back and win the big one later though.

The Captain signing off...