So, I would love to tell you that I have not posted during the finals and the draft because I was on sabatical doing awesome things. I was in Cairo digging up pieces of antiquity. I was in the Swiss Riviera soaking in the plentitude of unfettered access to European... Actually I have been a lazy shit. It happens. I haven't written because I have been on my own mental holiday, but for you, readers, I will extricate myself from the mire of irresponsibility and donate a long rambling column of weirdness on the orange underground... Elipsis will abound... Even if they are used improperly...

The Finals... Still shocked. The West is the best. The Celts played beyond their ability for the first time in entire playoffs. The slid through the ice of the East and made it out because the conference sucked, and then they played a team that admitted they weren't ready. Fuck, people called this... It was like calling the end to a David Lynch movie. You might be right, but you were lucky. Real damn lucky. No way that finals represented the best in the West... I hate it... I hate it... more elipsis...

The Draft... typical... The Bulls drafted for fit like Ron Jeremy has sex for fit with a narrow virgin. I hope you were repulsed by that joke. Here we go, might not get better from here. Derek Rose could be the Charlie Ward or T.J. Ford, not a number one overall when Beasley is on the board. Micheal Beasley had better stats than Kevin Durant. The second year in a row a perfect first overall was skipped for a stupid pick... I said it, and it has nothing to do with the fact that the gimp hasn't played a game. Beasley will reach for the sky and tear up the ground... Bad Company style... F'n A Cotton, F'n A... Beasley will be the shit. If Pat Riley had skipped him the draft I would have driven to his house and talked to him about it.

Baron Davis... Oops! Elton Brand left. He left because Stern was diverting intentions away from the tampering charges and Tim Donaghy. He had to make sure Donaghy got a stiffer sentence than Pete Rose. Baron leaving the Warriors makes life better for up and comers in the West because both teams go shittier.

Brand... Elton will bring them to the finals if Igggie re-ups. For sure.

Josh Childress left because the dollar sucks. Usually apathetic about politics, but this one hurts. When the administration fucks us by letting the next sixth man of the year leave for Europe because our currency sucks we have problems.

Andris Beidrins got similar money to Emeka Okafor... Wtf?... Thats right I just typed a text abbreviation... I hate myself... Shit... Elipsis...

The Olympics are about to start and I am wondering what is going to happen with Yao's foot and Dwayne Wade's entire body...

Ime Udoka is the next Kelenna Azibuike (I spelled that wrong)...

More from the Captain more sooner than the last time.