The Kind of New Kids on the Block?

I suddenly realized that Dusty and I have not given a fair treatment of the naming process for the recently deceased Seattle SuperSonics. Welcome to the fold the OKC Thunder. Personally, I am disappoionted because I was pulling for them to be named The Wind. I was going to challenge myself to make 82 fart jokes dealing with the outcome of each of their games. Something like "The Rockets break Wind in Overtime," or "The Blazers pass Wind in the Northwest." You get the ideal.
The obvious question is, why they didn't chose some fearsome animal native to Oklahoma to be their mascot? Well friends this is easy to answer, any self respecting animal followed the cues of evolution and got the fuck out of Oklahoma as soon as they could whether it be by land, sea, air, or extinction. For awhile The Bison was an option, but really I don't think naming a team after an animal sacred to Native Americans in a state where Native Americans live in abject poverty because whites drove that animal to extinction seems a little too over the top.
So The Thunder it is. Still plenty of opportnuity for fart jokes, which will be forthcoming. I also look forward to, given the demographic of the surrounding community, the house announcer falling in love with Garth Brooks tune "The Thunder Rolls." Can you picture Kevin Durant and Jeff Green looking at each other as the guy puts on Garth for the thousandth time with the same look that Pinky and the Brain used to look at each other when they realized their plan to take over the world was about to fail. The amount of country music played at this arena could far surprass anything we have ever imagined for any NBA site. Most of the radio stations in Oklahoma, that's right they got radio about seven years ago in the Dust Bowl, are primarily country stations, I am interested to see if that carries into the arena. The Thunder Roles my friends.
Really though, this whole naming thing is so much better in college sports. This is because they get to have the actual anumals at the games. A short sidenote on this, I know in this life have been guilty of some pretty awful things so if I come back on a lower plain of existence I want to be a college mascot. Here are my top three"

3. Bevo- You are large well fed piece of cattle that gets drugged out of its mind before it is taken to a place where it is basically worshipped like a golden calf. I think this sounds pretty good. On the downside I would now be a cannibal whenever I wanted a good steak or burger. Bevo is number three because he is an herbivore, and I have never been crazy about the whole vegetarian thing.

2. A Baylor Bear- These guys just got a new habitat, and they get fed ridiculously. I know Bears are naturally fat, but if you ever see one of these things in person they look more like a furry orb than a bear. You also do not get an exclusive diet of grain. They give these bears Dr. Pepper and M&M's. Sounds good.

Number 1! drumroll please:
UGA, this dog has it made. A suite wherever he travels, an air conditioned doghouse, people think it is great when you attack the opposing team, and you stay in Savannah. He has his own SUV so he never has to ride in a trailer when you have to go to work and leave Savannah. Savannah is an awesome city, no open container laws in sight. Beyond that if this dog is uncomfortable someone comes over an ices his balls down. Now that's living! And I am just betting that if you are this dog people would pay large sums of money to breed their English Bulldog bitch with you because your UGA.

UGA wins, but the real problem here is that I am assuming that this dog is on a lower plain of existence. This dog has better life than I do. In the words of Dusty, "God Damnit! I hate it when a dog does better than me!"

Anyway, here they are your used to be Seattle Super Sonics, The OKC Thunder!

The Captain siging off for now...