Does hatred derive from jealousy? Maybe not all of the time but certainly some of the time. So does this mean I hate the Boston Celtics because I'm jealous of them? Well, I'm glad you asked.
A couple of years ago the Captain and I had a discussion about whether or not it was appropriate to hate the Boston Celtics even though they sucked. I'm sure I have made reference to that conversation in this space before, but I'm going to do it again. I suppose I can't speak for others, but I know a teams historic level of success usually comes into play in regards to how much I hate them. I hate the Yankees because they've won so many times. I don't hate the Mets. Why? Because they suck.
Hating the Boston Celtics until this year seemed to be something reserved for old Lakers fans. The Celtics weren't very good. Well, that might be putting it lightly. They sucked. Sure they had some success in the East, but that's like coming in first in a race at the amputee games. Sure you placed well, but you beat a bunch of dudes who don't have two legs. Good job, but you'd still lose a race to Michael Johnson, and he's old now.
Boston does have sixteen titles, but their last one came in 1986. It's coming up on the 20th anniversary for that win (for those of you keeping score at home). Suddenly after a very shady trade for KG (second this season only to the Pau trade, and they both rank in the top five all time shady trades) they have emerged as a title favorite with a starting five that includes Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and the aforementioned Mr. Garnett.
So why are they suddenly so damned popular again while no one seems to give a shit about the San Antonio Spurs? Let's break it down.
Point Guard: Tony Parker vs. Rajon Rondo
Parker is a former all star, NBA Finals MVP, (bad) rapper, French, and he's banging one of the hottest thirty-somethings on the planet.
Rondo. Well...Rondo. He briefly attended the University of Kentucky, and it's his second season in the league.
Advantage: I'd say Rondo (due to Parker being French and all), but Rondo is a nobody, and is probably destined to get annihilated by a good point guard like Chris Paul in the Finals. PUSH
Shooting Guard: Manu Ginobili vs Ray Allen
Ginobili is the leading scorer on the Spurs, Gold-medal winning leader of the Argentine National Team, Three time NBA champ, professional flopper, whirling dervish in the lane, and likely the most cold-blooded assassin year in and out on one of the NBA's best teams
Allen is one of the best shooters in the league. He can on occasion show flashes of his brilliance and slashing in the lane, but his 32 year old and reconstructed ankles limit this greatly. Definitely the kind of guy that makes you nervous when he shoots from downtown in a big game.
Advantage: Ginobili. Allen isn't quite the player he used to be. Manu looks as good or better than ever.
Small Forward: Bruce Bowen vs. Paul Pierce
Bowen is one of the league's best perimeter defenders. He used to be the uncontested best, but he's lost a step. Known for some "questionable" tactics (stepping under shooters, etc.) Deadly with the three-ball from the corner (either side).
Pierce is one of the best players in the league. I've previously outlined how his statistics match up frighteningly with Kobe's. He's one of the greatest players to ever done the Jayhawk uniform...this argument is silly.
Advantage: Pierce. I mean, duh.
Power Forward: Tim Duncan vs. KG
Tim Duncan has four NBA titles. Two league MVPs. Three Finals MVPs. A sweet bank shot. A degree in psychology from Wake Forrest. Oh yeah, he's also widely (and accurately) considered to be the best all around power forward, EVER.
Kevin Garnett has a league MVP. He's the fiercest competitor in the NBA (with all due respect to Allen Iverson). He absolutely never gives up in a game or anywhere, and he's won absolutely nothing.
Advantage: Duncan
Centers: Fabricio Oberto vs. Kendrick Perkins
meh
Advantage: Both guys are just there for rebounds and D. PUSH
Bench: Now remember, I'm debating the likeability of these teams, not necessarily the talent.
Celtics: Likeable E.T. look-alike in Sam Cassell. Genuine stiffs in Scot Pollard and Brian Scalabrine. Genuine thug in James Posey (and I mean THUG, just ask the Bulls). Genuine gastric-bypass candidate in Glen Davis.
Spurs: Old guys. Nobody particularly hate-able (nobody hates Robert Horry for hockey checking Steve Nash except Suns fans) A group of guys you could like if they were your team.
Advantage: Spurs
Jersey:
Celtics very class Green and White.
Spurs very traditional Black and White and Silver.
Advantage: Celtics. It's just a cooler jersey.
Home cities:
Boston: Great tradition of basketball. Gets cold as balls in the winter. Part of pretentious New England (don't forget, they think they're better than you). Destined to see people wearing Red Sox gear to games.
San Antonio: Great support for the team (due largely to the fact that they have nothing else). Tourist city because the weather is always nice (you can wear shorts to a game in February). Bad place to live if you share Glen Davis' lust for fatty foods. Nice people (You're not from Texas, but Texas wants you anyway). Destined to see people wearing Dallas Cowboys gear to games.
Advantage: Even I'm willing to admit I'm too biased to pick this one.
Look, in an era where the NBA is relatively scandal free, this should be a time when the country comes back to basketball. One of the long-standing complaints was that the NBA was full of thugs, so why do people avoid the Spurs? They win (casual fans love cheering for a winner). They have young, fast, exciting players (Parker and Ginobili). They have a management team that intentional avoids guys with character issues. They aren't boring either (people who still say this just don't watch them, that's it. In 2003 and even 2005 they would've been right, but not anymore). So why do all the bandwagon fans on social networking sites run to cheer for a team with one bona-fide thug (Posey) and another testy player with a history of mixing it up (Pierce)?
Because people are fucking hypocrites. That's why.
-Dusty
P.S. You were due for at least one post that reeked of "homer"
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Pick one. Just one.
Welcome back to the fold Pheonix. I still don't like the Shaq trade, but... This was one of the best games of the season. The talking heads love to say the Phx Suns can win two ways, and now they are really dangerous. Fair enough, but let's not call this a novel ideal. How many one dimmensional teams win championships? The Detroit Pistons were the last one dimmensional team that won the championship, and they could do it because they spread the ball around among five solid starters. If you think the Spurs are one dimmensional you don't know shit about basktetball. Tony is fast, and always has been. To say the Spurs have to play slow ignores that they have two of the best guards in the league. That doesn't matter though because the Spurs play their style, and don't play to other teams' styles. Wow, I am starting to sound like Dusty. The point is the Suns being able to play two types of basketball is not that big of a deal. Teams that can play one type of ball, other than teams that just ugly up the game to stay close and don't win in the playoffs. Look at most championships teams, they played their style of ball... not two styles of ball. That being said they beat the Warriors convincingly tonight. They beat them when Baron scored damn near forty. They beat the Spurs and Shaq looked good in that game. If the Suns get out of the West they win because they can play the slower style not the fast one. They were better at that style with Marion, and only one team plays like the Warriors... That of course is the Warriors because only one team is coached by someone who once ran the USSR. The Suns are repeatedly saying that they are in training camp mode. 18 games to the playoffs guys. Training camp was over for most teams a little while back. The point is great teams don't play two styles of ball to win games. They make the other team play their game, and have enough parts that can do enough different things that they can keep their style despite mismatches. What style are the Pheonix Suns going to try to win with in the playoffs. I don't think they can switch back and forth between styles and win. Using a 20 million dollar a year guy to win one type of game means it better be the one type of game that matters.
A quick side note, there may not be anything better than the players deciding to mess with Craig Sager's suits. Sager's hankercheif was actually taken out of the pocket and used to wipe sweat from Amare by Nash. How many people that make the amount of money that Sager presumably makes would laugh about people defiling their wardrobe, even if they wore crazy shit to stand out?
The Captain signing off...
A quick side note, there may not be anything better than the players deciding to mess with Craig Sager's suits. Sager's hankercheif was actually taken out of the pocket and used to wipe sweat from Amare by Nash. How many people that make the amount of money that Sager presumably makes would laugh about people defiling their wardrobe, even if they wore crazy shit to stand out?
The Captain signing off...
Sunday, March 9, 2008
The Orange Underground! Not Cheetohs!
We are still under the no-hitter rule.
The new Cheetos commercial are weird. Very damn weird, as Dusty and I have discussed. However,they do make me want to act like a vindictive shit and punish people with orage food dye and partionally hydrogenated oils. However, the orange underground is the NBA not Cheetos, let me tell you a story...
One day Jerry West called Mitch Kupchak and said, I am leaving the Grizzlies, but as compensation for my servide here they are letting me call in one last favor to take care of teh franchise I love. Kobe is also paying me all of his endorsement money. But we are going to hold off on trading Pau Gasol, and Kobe is going to openly criticize the franchise so that everyone is going to find the following events more dramatic than the series finale of Beverly Hills 90210...
These events will happen:
After wading through some disappointing play off losses we are going to flirt with the ideal of acquiring Jason Kidd. Kobe will openly criticize the organization for not doing this, and then you will have to let Andrew Bynum in on the plan so he agrees to stay. Kobe says some he things that he doesn't really mean about Andrew. It will all be OK, even though Kobe demands to be traded. We will look like the 2007-2008 season will have you looking Isaih Thomas. Don't worry I swear this is going to work.
I will then call in my favor and you will recieve Pau Gasol for next to nothing. It will be glorious, and chaos will ensue. AS a result of this trade we will have a damn fine team. However the beauty is that executives in the West will go absoutely crazy, and become more reactionary than the Patriot Act. Steve Nash and Amare Stoudemire will willing accept a washed up Shaq instead of Shawn Marion or a number of other serviceable options ignoring the fact that Shaq has shit orbiting him at this point in his career. This makes us look less foolish for having busted up Kobe and Shaq while both were in their primes, but also keeps us from taking on the ridiculous contract situation that Miami and now Pheonix have agreed to pay to placate the Big Team Killer. Stay with me Mitch, this gets better. The conference will have continued to get better. This insanely convoluted plan will be made even better by the fact that in one of the closest Conference regular seasons ever we will have made the first place team in the conference completely change the style of ball that they play.
Wait... it get's better. The trade will facilitate another team becoming hysterical. Another known threat. The Ponies will trade a promising young guard for the leadership of an old elite point guard with a bloated contract and no championship experience believing it will shake them up and give them backbone. Wait for it... It is none other than the guy that we drove the trade value up on last season, your favorite meaningless triple double creator in NBA history, Jason Kidd. They too will plummet in the standings as they found out that their new rides have flat tires.
The phone hangs up. Kupchak and West go to bed knowing that they have stacked the deck in the Lakers favor.
That's the Orange Underground my friend. Believe it and know that David Stern masterminded all of this to up ratings in the playoffs. He keeps that mustache he had in those 80's drafts a in box inside a magic eight ball and whenever the league is going down hill he consults it. That's why this season looks the way it has.
This the Captain signing off for now...
The new Cheetos commercial are weird. Very damn weird, as Dusty and I have discussed. However,they do make me want to act like a vindictive shit and punish people with orage food dye and partionally hydrogenated oils. However, the orange underground is the NBA not Cheetos, let me tell you a story...
One day Jerry West called Mitch Kupchak and said, I am leaving the Grizzlies, but as compensation for my servide here they are letting me call in one last favor to take care of teh franchise I love. Kobe is also paying me all of his endorsement money. But we are going to hold off on trading Pau Gasol, and Kobe is going to openly criticize the franchise so that everyone is going to find the following events more dramatic than the series finale of Beverly Hills 90210...
These events will happen:
After wading through some disappointing play off losses we are going to flirt with the ideal of acquiring Jason Kidd. Kobe will openly criticize the organization for not doing this, and then you will have to let Andrew Bynum in on the plan so he agrees to stay. Kobe says some he things that he doesn't really mean about Andrew. It will all be OK, even though Kobe demands to be traded. We will look like the 2007-2008 season will have you looking Isaih Thomas. Don't worry I swear this is going to work.
I will then call in my favor and you will recieve Pau Gasol for next to nothing. It will be glorious, and chaos will ensue. AS a result of this trade we will have a damn fine team. However the beauty is that executives in the West will go absoutely crazy, and become more reactionary than the Patriot Act. Steve Nash and Amare Stoudemire will willing accept a washed up Shaq instead of Shawn Marion or a number of other serviceable options ignoring the fact that Shaq has shit orbiting him at this point in his career. This makes us look less foolish for having busted up Kobe and Shaq while both were in their primes, but also keeps us from taking on the ridiculous contract situation that Miami and now Pheonix have agreed to pay to placate the Big Team Killer. Stay with me Mitch, this gets better. The conference will have continued to get better. This insanely convoluted plan will be made even better by the fact that in one of the closest Conference regular seasons ever we will have made the first place team in the conference completely change the style of ball that they play.
Wait... it get's better. The trade will facilitate another team becoming hysterical. Another known threat. The Ponies will trade a promising young guard for the leadership of an old elite point guard with a bloated contract and no championship experience believing it will shake them up and give them backbone. Wait for it... It is none other than the guy that we drove the trade value up on last season, your favorite meaningless triple double creator in NBA history, Jason Kidd. They too will plummet in the standings as they found out that their new rides have flat tires.
The phone hangs up. Kupchak and West go to bed knowing that they have stacked the deck in the Lakers favor.
That's the Orange Underground my friend. Believe it and know that David Stern masterminded all of this to up ratings in the playoffs. He keeps that mustache he had in those 80's drafts a in box inside a magic eight ball and whenever the league is going down hill he consults it. That's why this season looks the way it has.
This the Captain signing off for now...
Thursday, March 6, 2008
You Talkin' to Me???
I am treating the thing that you all would expect me to type about like a no-hitter. That's the only mention that you are going to het, remember the superstitions rule invoked early on this space.
Lebron is well on his way to scoring fifty points in back to back games. Two buzzer beating threes in the first half tonight. Good times. The game last night taught Spike Lee a lesson that has already been learned: Don't talk shit to Lebron James. It ends up badly for your team. A fan talking shit to James is like a girlfriend picking a fight with a guy that weighs fifty pounds more than her boyfriend. If you are playing Cleveland there should be pamphlets that are handed to the audience like the signs you see out side of tiger cages at the zoo then again we learned that people don't always read those either.
Celtics vs. Pistons didn't matter much. That is a seven game series that could be great, but Lebron could derail either one of these teams. Cleveland will only continue to get better. Boston will only continue to get better. The only way that Detroit ends up in the Finals is if Rasheed Wallace becomes a sane and motivated individual, well maybe just motivated. Wallace will not because the one person that kept hom motivated plays in Cleveland now.
I am really hoping that Dallas is the team to slip out of the playoffs in the West. How great would that be? I actually had a Mavs fan talk shit to me today. Check the standings lately Ponies fans? Seen your team play with the best point guard alive with two flat tires? Are you watching these games? Of course not, you only love your little Ponies not pay attention to the fact that you should be writing Dear John letter to Devin Harris and hel out to take Sam Cassell from the Celtics. The Ponies with P.J. Brown and Sam Cassell instead of Boston would have scared me more than the Ponies with Kidd. The Euro on Euro violence the other night was pretty bad too. Dirk's extra work to bring AK down at the end was why it was changed to a 2. Don't try to say that Dirk is showing toughness, he took a cheap shot on a guy that doesn't weigh anything. As Chuck said, he need to eat some happy meals. It is realistic to think that the Mavs could be the bubble team if they keep having trouble figuring out how to play with Kidd. You have to win 2 out of 3 games the rest of the way if you are in the West to have chance to make it in to the playoffs. Playing .500 ball from here on out will not get out in to the show this year.
Did you think that Denver would not be in the playoffs even if Melo and A.I. were the league's top scoring tandem? I would not have made that prediction. The Nuggets just look completely lost sometimes.
More to come. The Captain signing off for now...
Lebron is well on his way to scoring fifty points in back to back games. Two buzzer beating threes in the first half tonight. Good times. The game last night taught Spike Lee a lesson that has already been learned: Don't talk shit to Lebron James. It ends up badly for your team. A fan talking shit to James is like a girlfriend picking a fight with a guy that weighs fifty pounds more than her boyfriend. If you are playing Cleveland there should be pamphlets that are handed to the audience like the signs you see out side of tiger cages at the zoo then again we learned that people don't always read those either.
Celtics vs. Pistons didn't matter much. That is a seven game series that could be great, but Lebron could derail either one of these teams. Cleveland will only continue to get better. Boston will only continue to get better. The only way that Detroit ends up in the Finals is if Rasheed Wallace becomes a sane and motivated individual, well maybe just motivated. Wallace will not because the one person that kept hom motivated plays in Cleveland now.
I am really hoping that Dallas is the team to slip out of the playoffs in the West. How great would that be? I actually had a Mavs fan talk shit to me today. Check the standings lately Ponies fans? Seen your team play with the best point guard alive with two flat tires? Are you watching these games? Of course not, you only love your little Ponies not pay attention to the fact that you should be writing Dear John letter to Devin Harris and hel out to take Sam Cassell from the Celtics. The Ponies with P.J. Brown and Sam Cassell instead of Boston would have scared me more than the Ponies with Kidd. The Euro on Euro violence the other night was pretty bad too. Dirk's extra work to bring AK down at the end was why it was changed to a 2. Don't try to say that Dirk is showing toughness, he took a cheap shot on a guy that doesn't weigh anything. As Chuck said, he need to eat some happy meals. It is realistic to think that the Mavs could be the bubble team if they keep having trouble figuring out how to play with Kidd. You have to win 2 out of 3 games the rest of the way if you are in the West to have chance to make it in to the playoffs. Playing .500 ball from here on out will not get out in to the show this year.
Did you think that Denver would not be in the playoffs even if Melo and A.I. were the league's top scoring tandem? I would not have made that prediction. The Nuggets just look completely lost sometimes.
More to come. The Captain signing off for now...
Saturday, March 1, 2008
The Space Wrangler
Back from his trip as a Space Wrangler. Dusty is off to demolish some navy blue Ford Falcons in the never-ending pursuit to fight Fascist dictatorships in Latin America. He may in the future find time to be Travelin' Light, but today it is time for a reprieve to bring you the worst jokes and random commentary on the NBA season at this moment.
Eat your heart out Walton.
Last night, after the longest week in the history of time, I found some time to enjoy basketball. Here's what I found:
Utah v New Orleans
Kyle Korver joined the Utah Jazz in the first moments of the New Year. Since that time, the Jazz have gone 20-7. Korver has continued to shoot approximately 35% from downtown. Korver's addition was seen as the Jazz filling that need for an outside assassin. Now 35% is alright. To quote Caesar when presented with the alabastor bathing vessel: "Nice. It's not thrilling, but nice." The Jazz still seem to be pleased with him as a role player though. Here's a statistic that might make Caesar excited. Korver is shooting 46% from the field. He was shooting barely 39% for Philly. "Treasure from around the Empire!" It's a nice statistic since he's mostly a jump shooter. I mean, I'd take it.
His steals are way down from the first of the season, but his blocking rate is better. Jet said earlier this year that steals might be the most overrated statistic, since in order to get a steal a player usually has to sacrifice their position, which means they get burned a lot when the steal gamble doesn't pay off. So basically, Korver has become a more valuable defender. "Treasure Bath!"
I'm sure Jazz fans are likely the most excited about the fact that the Jazz have gone 20-7 for them. Having a high winning percentage in the Western Conference this year is some much important than it has been in longer than I can remember. So what is Korver's overall contribution? It's not the most obvious impact, but something is there. Let's call it the Butterfly Effect.
How OKC made NO a better basketball town
Oklahoma City is a boring capital to a boring state, but they do have fine collegiate athletics programs. The lameness and college connection made them a great place to host a displaced NBA franchise. People in Oklahoma needed something else to be excited about (lots of free time), and the Hornets needed a home. People in Oklahoma were excited. They brought in the great tradition from college basketball of standing until the home team makes a bucket. So classy. So supportive. The best part?
New Orleans' fans kept the tradition alive! I loved it. However, you could definitely tell that this crowd was not experienced. The game started slowly. There were no field goals for the first two minutes. The first serious opportunity to score was at the ten minute mark with David West at the charity stripe. So, here, dear reader is the question to you. When can the N.O. fans sit?
(wait)
(wait)
If you said after the first made free throw. You would be in good company, because that's when the Hornets fans sat.
While you were being a loyal and good fan, you were still not being a great fan. The great fan never sits until the home team makes a legit field goal. Oh well, it's a start for them.
Boston v Charlotte
Did you know Gerald Wallace has had four concussions in the last four seasons? I didn't. Damn. You gotta watch out for those 'bows, son.
Was Nazr Mohammed brought to the Bobcats for veteran leadership? I mean, he does have two championship rings.
Miscellaneous
I remember watching the Spurs play the Lakers in the 2003 playoffs. I remember at one of our playoff viewing parties (still my favorite post season, ever), my friend Megan pointed out that the Spurs would assuredly beat the Lakers, because the Spurs brought good players off the bench, and the Lakers brought out Jannero Pargo (had to look up the spelling of his first name).
Did you know Pargo is kicking ass right now? The announcers brought that to my attention. Apparently scoring about eight and a half a game in about eighteen and a half minutes is pretty kick ass. Who knew?
Peja Stojakovic will now be known as Jesus. This is not the result of his play, but simply because I think he looks like Jim Caviezel.
Does Lebron need a nickname? The color guy on the Cavs broadcast last night called him "L-Train" when he slammed home a fast break in the lane. I like L-Train, but will giving him a nickname marginalize his career? Lebron wants to be Jordan (or better), and MJ was the only pseudo nickname he had. Kobe is just Kobe (Mamba doesn't count, you can't give yourself a nickname). Russell was Russell. Wilt Chamberlin doesn't have a nickname (to my knowledge), but rumor is he called his johnson "Rusty". Then there are the guys who did have the nicknames: Earl the Pearl, Chief (Parish), the Dream, Reign Man, and who could forget that George Miken's teammates lovingly called him "Tits".
So is Lebron's lack of a nickname a result of a marketing campaign, or because people in Cleveland have no imagination?
Well it's been a Long Strange Trip (copywrited? REALLY?). Ok, it's fun hangin with you Pilgrims, but I've gotta Keep On Rollin'. Every game matters now.
-Dusty
Eat your heart out Walton.
Last night, after the longest week in the history of time, I found some time to enjoy basketball. Here's what I found:
Utah v New Orleans
Kyle Korver joined the Utah Jazz in the first moments of the New Year. Since that time, the Jazz have gone 20-7. Korver has continued to shoot approximately 35% from downtown. Korver's addition was seen as the Jazz filling that need for an outside assassin. Now 35% is alright. To quote Caesar when presented with the alabastor bathing vessel: "Nice. It's not thrilling, but nice." The Jazz still seem to be pleased with him as a role player though. Here's a statistic that might make Caesar excited. Korver is shooting 46% from the field. He was shooting barely 39% for Philly. "Treasure from around the Empire!" It's a nice statistic since he's mostly a jump shooter. I mean, I'd take it.
His steals are way down from the first of the season, but his blocking rate is better. Jet said earlier this year that steals might be the most overrated statistic, since in order to get a steal a player usually has to sacrifice their position, which means they get burned a lot when the steal gamble doesn't pay off. So basically, Korver has become a more valuable defender. "Treasure Bath!"
I'm sure Jazz fans are likely the most excited about the fact that the Jazz have gone 20-7 for them. Having a high winning percentage in the Western Conference this year is some much important than it has been in longer than I can remember. So what is Korver's overall contribution? It's not the most obvious impact, but something is there. Let's call it the Butterfly Effect.
How OKC made NO a better basketball town
Oklahoma City is a boring capital to a boring state, but they do have fine collegiate athletics programs. The lameness and college connection made them a great place to host a displaced NBA franchise. People in Oklahoma needed something else to be excited about (lots of free time), and the Hornets needed a home. People in Oklahoma were excited. They brought in the great tradition from college basketball of standing until the home team makes a bucket. So classy. So supportive. The best part?
New Orleans' fans kept the tradition alive! I loved it. However, you could definitely tell that this crowd was not experienced. The game started slowly. There were no field goals for the first two minutes. The first serious opportunity to score was at the ten minute mark with David West at the charity stripe. So, here, dear reader is the question to you. When can the N.O. fans sit?
(wait)
(wait)
If you said after the first made free throw. You would be in good company, because that's when the Hornets fans sat.
While you were being a loyal and good fan, you were still not being a great fan. The great fan never sits until the home team makes a legit field goal. Oh well, it's a start for them.
Boston v Charlotte
Did you know Gerald Wallace has had four concussions in the last four seasons? I didn't. Damn. You gotta watch out for those 'bows, son.
Was Nazr Mohammed brought to the Bobcats for veteran leadership? I mean, he does have two championship rings.
Miscellaneous
I remember watching the Spurs play the Lakers in the 2003 playoffs. I remember at one of our playoff viewing parties (still my favorite post season, ever), my friend Megan pointed out that the Spurs would assuredly beat the Lakers, because the Spurs brought good players off the bench, and the Lakers brought out Jannero Pargo (had to look up the spelling of his first name).
Did you know Pargo is kicking ass right now? The announcers brought that to my attention. Apparently scoring about eight and a half a game in about eighteen and a half minutes is pretty kick ass. Who knew?
Peja Stojakovic will now be known as Jesus. This is not the result of his play, but simply because I think he looks like Jim Caviezel.
Does Lebron need a nickname? The color guy on the Cavs broadcast last night called him "L-Train" when he slammed home a fast break in the lane. I like L-Train, but will giving him a nickname marginalize his career? Lebron wants to be Jordan (or better), and MJ was the only pseudo nickname he had. Kobe is just Kobe (Mamba doesn't count, you can't give yourself a nickname). Russell was Russell. Wilt Chamberlin doesn't have a nickname (to my knowledge), but rumor is he called his johnson "Rusty". Then there are the guys who did have the nicknames: Earl the Pearl, Chief (Parish), the Dream, Reign Man, and who could forget that George Miken's teammates lovingly called him "Tits".
So is Lebron's lack of a nickname a result of a marketing campaign, or because people in Cleveland have no imagination?
Well it's been a Long Strange Trip (copywrited? REALLY?). Ok, it's fun hangin with you Pilgrims, but I've gotta Keep On Rollin'. Every game matters now.
-Dusty
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