Ok, I'm calmer now. It only took a week and a half, but I can watch games again. I can tell myself that I knew we were supposed to lose that series without Yao in the middle. I know that Tracy played really well, even though he had multiple surgeries shortly after the series ended. I know that Utah is getting their ass kicked right now, which confuses me. I am not sure which team I dislike more. LA or Utah? So, alright folks I am going to tackle that and other questions as I ramble on for thousands of words and make up for lost time in this post.
LA or Utah? My hatred for the Lakers is well chronicled. They are good again, and that gives me even more of a reason to hate them. The Kobe turn around in demeanor wreaks of the crazy grilfriend scenario. When it's good, damn it's good. When it's bad, damn it's bad. If the Lakers fall off, which doesn't look likely, I expect Kobe to not be such a nice guy any more. The problem are is they don't look like they will be bad again anytime soon. So, Utah... as a Rockets fan you have to hate Utah. If you don't then you haven't been watching long enough. Here's the thing, Stockton and Malone were the face of that franchise for a long time,and they were two of the dirtiest superstars ever. Not too mention having to worry about a wardrobe malfunction with Stockton's shorts. On top of that Jeff Hornacek's hair made Jimmy Johnson's hair product usage look mild. It's was like he played with a helmet on during the games. So why should hate this incarnation of the Jazz? Not only have they knocked my team out two years in a row... They have the same coach and you can see everyone of the players on that team falling into the role of a former Jazz player on the previous Jerry Sloan teams. If a player doesn't fit in Sloan's system he makes them cry and question their ability, see AK. One of the biggest wastes of talent in the league from a guy that people consistently call a COY candiddate. Speaking of that award
Byron Scott was on my short list. He deserved this award as much as anyone this year. The Hornets have mollywhopped the Spurs twice. As pointed out on ESPN.com the Spurs have looked old this series. If Dusty was close enough he would already be throwing things at me, but honestly he and every other Spurs fan have to hope that they find something cooking at home. The likelihood of that is getting less everyday. Never underestimate the problems with depending on a Frenchmen to sack up and stop one of the toughest players in the league. Parker needs to step up and run Chris Paul at the other end of the floor. Attack Paul until to the poin that he gets tired, and trap him often in the backcourt. Get the ball out of his hands as much as you can if you are the Spurs. Chris Paul is Santa Anna, and he is about to burn the Alamo down. If you aren't from Texas (then your readership is surprising) let me remind you that the folks in San Antonio got slaughtered in that particular battle. Right now the Spurs are crapping in the Riverwalk. Good luck tonight Dusty.
Detroit and Orlando... Any series where a clock malfunction gets most of the attention is a bad sign, but if Chauncey Billups is out I think this becomes a very difficult series to win for Detroit. Which allay the nightmares that I have had about Detroit actually making it to the finals. Can you get excited about a Pistons and anybody finals? That's what I thought. At least the Magic would be a new group of faces getting their asses kicked in pursuit of a championship.
Speaking of old faces that don't need to make the finals. Last year's visitors to the big stage from Cleveland really need to be swept out of the playoffs because they don't deserve another game after what had to be one of the worst four minutes of any game this season in the Boston and Cleveland game 2. In my opinion they should not have even gotten to the second round. Papa Johns was right to print up the crybaby t-shirts. Cleveland needs a coach who pretends to draw up go to plays instead of admitting that his only plan is to give Lebron the ball and let him free lance. Even Jay-Z has a beat written down before he goes into the recording booth. There's a comparison Lebron can appreciate.
As for the team on the other side of that series. They went seven with Atlanta. I don't need to say anything more, other than Doc Rivers might have less of a plan than Mike Brown.
That's the playoffs, and now for what is already an interesting off season:
Watching the Mavs lose was nice. Almost as good as if they had slipped out of the playoffs entirely. New Orleans dumped the goods on the Mavs and showed that they might really be the best team in the Southwest Division. That might actually be decided by an intriguing playoff match-up. The Ponies failure solidifies the Kidd trade, the silver lining if your a Ponies fan is that Kidd's contract will be a huge trade chip next season. The Ponies could turn that into a nucleus of young draft picks and prospects that Cubicles could get nervous about and trade away for another has been. That's right I am rubbing it in, but really would you expect less. Avery is gone, maybe you can hire Bob Knight and see if he chokes Dirk. Oh, wait you are going to hire Rick Carlisle. Another coach who will continue to try to make this team slow down the defense and pound the ball. He has also done a good job of keeping the Pacers on track professionally over the last few years, wait a minute... Are you envisioning Dirk slipping into the abyss of non-superstardom Jermaine O'Neal style under Carlisle's thumb? I sure can.
The Suns are letting Mike D'Antoni talk to other teams. Phoenix has no chance of hiring a coach that is going to make them any better than D'Antoni has. Simmons wrote a good column on the Suns recently, but let's play this out for a second. What in the hell are they going to do? Who wants that job? I have to coach a team with roster that fits together like the cast of whatever Real World cast fought alot more than the others (I am not Chuck Klosterman, and I am catually proud that I cannot identify any season of the Real World or Road Rules).I really don't think there is a coach that Steve Kerr is going to find that will be able to get this team playing well together for an entire season next season. And the other question is which Shaq will show up? The Big Rejuvenated or the Big Slow Malcontent? The Shaq trade is rough for PHX fans, and the only possible way to make next season work is to figure out a way to sit Shaq for at least 25 games next year, kind of like the Rockets need to do with Yao.
The Captain signing off for now...
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Damnit!
Sorry for the gap in post. I am evil mad. I am punching someone who doesn't deserve it in the face mad. PUNCH. KILL. KILL. KILL.
Again, I apologize but the just ended Rockets game floors me, Stu Jackson and Bob Delaney just bent us over a Sacramento and Portland style table. I digress. Fuck!
Anyway, lets talk about the start to the playoffs, piece by piece...
The Suns can honestly say that meeting the Spurs in the first round makes their trade a wash at best. Even if they are better next year this was supposed to be an instant fix trade, and it certainly is not. Shaq and the Sols are about to be the lamest team in this season's playoffs. Dusty will kill me once I jinx this, but I think the Spurs have effectively phallic slapped the Spurs.
Philly! The column I wrote about the coach of the year makes you think now doesnt it! Mo Cheeks is winning a series at 2 to 7 disadvantage. Mo has a team that has no chance winning a big time series right now. Motown is supposed to be in the conference finals again, but they may not make it. Interesting to see how shitty the East really is. This team has played well for half a season and it is not a stretch to call them a danger in the East.
The Hawks won one tonight. The arena was even JV with the shot clock issues, but at least they won one in their first playoff series in years. If Josh Smith doesn't go J.R. Rider he could be Dominique Wilkins. This kid can hang numbers in any category against anyone. If he was tuned into the game he would be Kobe and Lebron good. I think he is the new Rasheed. More intersting... Al Horford will kill the dick out of anyone. He talked shit, but Pierce deserved a tech even more if you watch. The vet should not let the rook mindf*ck him. He did.
The Orlando series. Dwight Howard is a beast. A terrifying man who can destroy the inside. Somehow, I think what Bosh has done is even more impressive though. Superman is awesome; Shaq redeux awesome. Bosh has a chance to really set it off though. Chris is a great player on a team that would confuse a mosaic artist. The Raptors overall composure sucks. Chris is making them look good though. Have you ever seen a team with two decent point guards that looked this bad though?
The Wiz. Someone needs to hate Lebron. I do. Everyone in Washington does now. The Wiz could kick the shit out of the Cavs if Lebron wasn't as good as he thinks he is. Lebron has become abrasive, but he actually is that good. Damn. I want to see a gimpy Gil light'em up. I also want to see Tough Juice mollywop some folks.
The NO Hornets are gang busters. You know I hate. You know who I hate. They don't get a direct mention, but they won't matter anyway. Go Hornets, GO. Chris Paul is scary good. Dallas losing warms my heart.
Kobe beating the Nugs is unsurprising. The Nugs could be good, but they are getting killed right now. They should be looking for a draft pick, but we know that they will suck ass into the fiture given their cap situation.
I could talk more, but I am still too misnathropic. more to come soon hopefully
The Captain
Again, I apologize but the just ended Rockets game floors me, Stu Jackson and Bob Delaney just bent us over a Sacramento and Portland style table. I digress. Fuck!
Anyway, lets talk about the start to the playoffs, piece by piece...
The Suns can honestly say that meeting the Spurs in the first round makes their trade a wash at best. Even if they are better next year this was supposed to be an instant fix trade, and it certainly is not. Shaq and the Sols are about to be the lamest team in this season's playoffs. Dusty will kill me once I jinx this, but I think the Spurs have effectively phallic slapped the Spurs.
Philly! The column I wrote about the coach of the year makes you think now doesnt it! Mo Cheeks is winning a series at 2 to 7 disadvantage. Mo has a team that has no chance winning a big time series right now. Motown is supposed to be in the conference finals again, but they may not make it. Interesting to see how shitty the East really is. This team has played well for half a season and it is not a stretch to call them a danger in the East.
The Hawks won one tonight. The arena was even JV with the shot clock issues, but at least they won one in their first playoff series in years. If Josh Smith doesn't go J.R. Rider he could be Dominique Wilkins. This kid can hang numbers in any category against anyone. If he was tuned into the game he would be Kobe and Lebron good. I think he is the new Rasheed. More intersting... Al Horford will kill the dick out of anyone. He talked shit, but Pierce deserved a tech even more if you watch. The vet should not let the rook mindf*ck him. He did.
The Orlando series. Dwight Howard is a beast. A terrifying man who can destroy the inside. Somehow, I think what Bosh has done is even more impressive though. Superman is awesome; Shaq redeux awesome. Bosh has a chance to really set it off though. Chris is a great player on a team that would confuse a mosaic artist. The Raptors overall composure sucks. Chris is making them look good though. Have you ever seen a team with two decent point guards that looked this bad though?
The Wiz. Someone needs to hate Lebron. I do. Everyone in Washington does now. The Wiz could kick the shit out of the Cavs if Lebron wasn't as good as he thinks he is. Lebron has become abrasive, but he actually is that good. Damn. I want to see a gimpy Gil light'em up. I also want to see Tough Juice mollywop some folks.
The NO Hornets are gang busters. You know I hate. You know who I hate. They don't get a direct mention, but they won't matter anyway. Go Hornets, GO. Chris Paul is scary good. Dallas losing warms my heart.
Kobe beating the Nugs is unsurprising. The Nugs could be good, but they are getting killed right now. They should be looking for a draft pick, but we know that they will suck ass into the fiture given their cap situation.
I could talk more, but I am still too misnathropic. more to come soon hopefully
The Captain
Friday, April 4, 2008
10 things I hate about D-loss
The following conversation is real. I didn't change the names because none of these people are innocent.
Me: I really hate alot of the players on the floor right now in this Mavs and Lakers game.
Dusty: Who doesn't?
Me: Fucking communist, that's fucking who.
Pause
Me: The fact that a team just trotted out Devean George, Ty Lue, and Eddie Jones somehow makes me hate Dirk Nowitzki even more.
Dusty: You judge a man by the company he keeps.
So true, so true. So with this I bring you the opposite of the homer column, the hater column. I know I have written more about hating than loving teams recently, but I am really not a bitter person. I really don't like the Los Angeles Lakers, but I was genuinely pissed off that they were not handling the Ponies tonight. This is how much I don't like the Ponies, I loathe them so much that I will not refer to them by anything other than disparaging names that I have made up for them for the rest of this column. Wait a minute I do that to lots of people and teams. Let's just say that I never root for teams based out of New York or LA and I was rooting for LA tonight unabashedly. Hating the Mavs trumps the rule from the first set of columns about hating major market teams. Refer to the other rule about picking a team to hate. I hate the D-loss Ponies. Let me count the ways...
1) Dirk: He might be a nice guy. I just hate watching him play. He has always seemed soft. When Cris Webber calls a team you led soft and no one questions one of the least mentally tough, albeit freakishly talented, players of his generation you know you are soft. Oh, but he played on a sprained ankle tonight. If I hear another hyperbaric chamber anecdote I am going to drop the TV out of the hotel room I am staying in straight through to the lobby, smashing the steam tray that they keep the fake eggs warm in for the supposedly hot breakfast. Dirk had a good game tonight, but damn it isn't like he was playing on one leg. If he played on one leg I would claim that it was digitally enhanced footage. If I was there in person I would want to actually go and pull on the invisible leg to make sure that it wasn't really there and then have David Copperfield and Chris Angel explain to me how Dirk was faking this. That was a long way of saying I don't think itwas that impressive that Dirk played on a tender ankle 70 games into the season.
2) They employ Devean George, Ty Lue, and Eddie Jones. All members of the Lakers at one time which means they are tainted. Especially since George has three rings. I mean who deserves three rings less, and actually got to have them. Maybe some members of the Bulls from the MJ era, enter our favorite Australian player not named Andrew "my teammates hate me" Bogut. Ty Lue almost had washed the taint off of himself by being a Rocket and then toiling in obscurity. Then he ended up playing for the Mavsucks. I will let Dusty take care of the Eddie Jones bashing.
3) Eric Dampier. At one time he thought he was the second best center in the League. Wonder where he would rank himself now? Mark Cuban thought it was a bad investment to re-sign some guy from Canada named Steve Nash. Good job Cubes, I will get to you in a second. There is nothing like watching someone who looks like they should be a beast and knowing that they are a complete liability on the floor. Now for my next impression, Jessie Owens... or
4) The Jason Kidd trade. I have already covered how stupid this was, but just to emphasize the guy that was picking up the slack for the afforementioned waste of space is now in New Jersey.
5)Everyone gushing over Josh Howard. See Bill Simmons comment about how Howard is well on this way to becoming the next Ben Wallace on the under-rated to over-rated jump to conclusions mat.
6) How many Ponies fans could tell you much about Rolando Blackman? Who were the three J's? I don't even think they have good fans in most cases.
7) The fact that they collapse like a folding chair everytime pressure is applied. See Golden State, Miami, and tonight. Awesome.
8) Cubicle, Mark Cuban. Once an entertainment, he is now a charicature of himself. A walking, check that dancing, cliche of himself. Everytime this team could actually be good or get better by doing something logical Mark freaks out and makes a panicked move that stunts the Mavs growth like a four year old who drinks a pot of coffee every morning. Cuban could be cool, but he feels the need to make a spectacle of himself too often. The Dairy Queen move a few years ago was actually entertaining, but seeing a billionaire serve fastfood would be no matter who it was. Cuban supposed passion for his team is often self defeating because he pisses off the David Stern, and he really pisses off David Stern's mustache. All the mustache wants to do is engineer crazy trades in the comfort of its own jar, but know Cuban has to blog about officiating and openly bitch about problems that actually exist in the NBA. The mustache just wants some tact. It understands the bitching, but it prefers having a sit down instead of Cuban going off like Fredo's wife everytime there is a family gathering.
9) Avery. Fun player and a funny voice. Maybe not the best coach. Maybe a coach who should think about doubling Kobe Bryant. Maybe a coach who should come up with a game plan that is consistent so his team can have an identity.
10) Because I enjoy hating on the Ponies. I don't need to give another real reason. I like it and this is my space to rant. I have other reasons. Dusty has other reasons. If you really like the NBA you have mroe reasons. These are just a start.
The Captain signing off for now....
Me: I really hate alot of the players on the floor right now in this Mavs and Lakers game.
Dusty: Who doesn't?
Me: Fucking communist, that's fucking who.
Pause
Me: The fact that a team just trotted out Devean George, Ty Lue, and Eddie Jones somehow makes me hate Dirk Nowitzki even more.
Dusty: You judge a man by the company he keeps.
So true, so true. So with this I bring you the opposite of the homer column, the hater column. I know I have written more about hating than loving teams recently, but I am really not a bitter person. I really don't like the Los Angeles Lakers, but I was genuinely pissed off that they were not handling the Ponies tonight. This is how much I don't like the Ponies, I loathe them so much that I will not refer to them by anything other than disparaging names that I have made up for them for the rest of this column. Wait a minute I do that to lots of people and teams. Let's just say that I never root for teams based out of New York or LA and I was rooting for LA tonight unabashedly. Hating the Mavs trumps the rule from the first set of columns about hating major market teams. Refer to the other rule about picking a team to hate. I hate the D-loss Ponies. Let me count the ways...
1) Dirk: He might be a nice guy. I just hate watching him play. He has always seemed soft. When Cris Webber calls a team you led soft and no one questions one of the least mentally tough, albeit freakishly talented, players of his generation you know you are soft. Oh, but he played on a sprained ankle tonight. If I hear another hyperbaric chamber anecdote I am going to drop the TV out of the hotel room I am staying in straight through to the lobby, smashing the steam tray that they keep the fake eggs warm in for the supposedly hot breakfast. Dirk had a good game tonight, but damn it isn't like he was playing on one leg. If he played on one leg I would claim that it was digitally enhanced footage. If I was there in person I would want to actually go and pull on the invisible leg to make sure that it wasn't really there and then have David Copperfield and Chris Angel explain to me how Dirk was faking this. That was a long way of saying I don't think itwas that impressive that Dirk played on a tender ankle 70 games into the season.
2) They employ Devean George, Ty Lue, and Eddie Jones. All members of the Lakers at one time which means they are tainted. Especially since George has three rings. I mean who deserves three rings less, and actually got to have them. Maybe some members of the Bulls from the MJ era, enter our favorite Australian player not named Andrew "my teammates hate me" Bogut. Ty Lue almost had washed the taint off of himself by being a Rocket and then toiling in obscurity. Then he ended up playing for the Mavsucks. I will let Dusty take care of the Eddie Jones bashing.
3) Eric Dampier. At one time he thought he was the second best center in the League. Wonder where he would rank himself now? Mark Cuban thought it was a bad investment to re-sign some guy from Canada named Steve Nash. Good job Cubes, I will get to you in a second. There is nothing like watching someone who looks like they should be a beast and knowing that they are a complete liability on the floor. Now for my next impression, Jessie Owens... or
4) The Jason Kidd trade. I have already covered how stupid this was, but just to emphasize the guy that was picking up the slack for the afforementioned waste of space is now in New Jersey.
5)Everyone gushing over Josh Howard. See Bill Simmons comment about how Howard is well on this way to becoming the next Ben Wallace on the under-rated to over-rated jump to conclusions mat.
6) How many Ponies fans could tell you much about Rolando Blackman? Who were the three J's? I don't even think they have good fans in most cases.
7) The fact that they collapse like a folding chair everytime pressure is applied. See Golden State, Miami, and tonight. Awesome.
8) Cubicle, Mark Cuban. Once an entertainment, he is now a charicature of himself. A walking, check that dancing, cliche of himself. Everytime this team could actually be good or get better by doing something logical Mark freaks out and makes a panicked move that stunts the Mavs growth like a four year old who drinks a pot of coffee every morning. Cuban could be cool, but he feels the need to make a spectacle of himself too often. The Dairy Queen move a few years ago was actually entertaining, but seeing a billionaire serve fastfood would be no matter who it was. Cuban supposed passion for his team is often self defeating because he pisses off the David Stern, and he really pisses off David Stern's mustache. All the mustache wants to do is engineer crazy trades in the comfort of its own jar, but know Cuban has to blog about officiating and openly bitch about problems that actually exist in the NBA. The mustache just wants some tact. It understands the bitching, but it prefers having a sit down instead of Cuban going off like Fredo's wife everytime there is a family gathering.
9) Avery. Fun player and a funny voice. Maybe not the best coach. Maybe a coach who should think about doubling Kobe Bryant. Maybe a coach who should come up with a game plan that is consistent so his team can have an identity.
10) Because I enjoy hating on the Ponies. I don't need to give another real reason. I like it and this is my space to rant. I have other reasons. Dusty has other reasons. If you really like the NBA you have mroe reasons. These are just a start.
The Captain signing off for now....
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
I owe you another post soon
I'm back. I have been on hiatus for a few reasons. One was not wanting to write about the streak until it was over. I don't really even want to write about the Rockets now.They make me nervous. I watch the West and think Little Nicky thoughts: You're alright, you're alright, and you make the Lord very nervous. I will let Dusty write abou them so I can hit him in the back of the head with something rubber for jinxing my team if they don't live up to the very modest expectations I have for them without Yao in the playoffs (if they hold on). I won't begin to cover everything on my mind in this post, so bare with the incomplete commentary, at least you are getting something (if i had a nickle for every time I've heard that last phrase off set by a comma).
So if I am not going to write a homer column like Dusty then what the fuck am I supposed to write about? Well ladies (if there are any ladies that read this) and gents (the three of you)if you hadn't noticed the league has a few interesting plot lines that have emerged as we have gone along. I am going to give some cursory treatments of some things that you all need to be aware of going into the last part of the season...
The Coach of the Year debate can only between the following three men: Reggie Theus, Mo Cheeks, and Nate McMillan. For those of you who want to pick teams with winning percentages over .600 you don't get it. You really don't understand coaching. This is not college ball folks. College coaches can win games for their teams much more often than pro coaches. "Great" pro coaches have players like Kobe, T-Mac and Yao, Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer, Chris Paul and Tyson Chandler, or KG and the Truth with Ray-Ray when his body permits. I think the coach of the year is a person that defies the odds with a team that people would look at on paper and say they shouldn't win. Teams look to these teams on the schedule and say there is a win because these guys will not be able to find their asses with both hands. The three that I just listed have kept their teams in games and have them playing competively in every game. The BallSacs, The Seventy Suckers, and the team of the future are not tanking their seasons though we all thought it would be more productive if they did from game one. The 76'ers will make the playoffs because they are in one of the worst conferences of any season in basketball league ever, even if they have a couple of good teams now.
- Reggie Theus- He get's points for the suits with silk scarfs sticking out of his suit. Very nice. The BallSacs are depending on Ron Artest to anchor their team and they have been succesful. Ask the good people in Auburn Hills the last time that happened. Sacto has been playing .500 ball and would be in the playoffs in the East. They never lay down. On a team that everyone thought would be on par with Memphis and Minnesota record wise at the beginning of the season I would have to say that I am impressed. I accused Theus of getting the other team high on paint fumes earlier in the season, but after seeing the BallSacs giving everyone a hard time no matter when or where they play them I am thinking that the Maloofs might be importing Vegas to whatever team's locker room they are playing. Every team looks like they are hungover when they play Sacto. They look like they stayed out drinking for free and going to houses of ill repute. It is the only excuse for a team with Kevin Martin (poor man's Monta), Ron Artest (headcase), and a collection of players that really shouldn't be winning games) together being competitive every night.
- Mo Cheeks- He is winning in Philly. Philly didn't trade for anyone or resign anyone this last offseason. I wonder where Igoudala goes if he leaves Philly. Thaddeus Young looks good. I am genuinely intrigued by this team because as bad as this team looks they have a better record than Atlanta, New Jersey, and are a game off Toronto. All three of the teams I just mentioned have at least one Max contract player on their teams. NJ had three. Atlanta has Joe Johnson and some legit young players. Toronto has Chris Bosh and a great point guard tandem. Philly's best player has the same nick name as their last best player, a young big man, and a point guard that's biggest value was supposed to be his expiring contract. Mo Cheeks has had this team playing hard all season adn winning games against teams that are more talented in every facet. The Sixers really should be a lottery team even in the East, but they are competing every night.
- Nate McMillan- Greg Oden is in trouble for playing a pick up game this late in the season and Portland is probably going to finish with a winning record. They will still be in the lottery. This team is playing well without one of the most anticipated big men to be drafted in years. Nate had these kids in first place in the West well into the season. The West is one of the best conferences in the history of NBA. 9 teams are going to win fifty games. I hope Dallas is the team to slip out if you had nto already guessed that. This team will be terrifying in a couple of years if the management doesn't do the same thing that Chicago did with a promising group of youngsters.
That's the coaching. The LA situation. Everyone is playing LA up because David Stern and anyone who stands to reap the revenue whirlwind from it has been having recurring wet dreams about an L.A. versus Boston final. Well folks, Boston is legit to come out of the East, and their homecourt is baller. If they get their they can fight. LA is in a bit of a pinch though. What do they do with two guys that were supposed to put them over the top haning played intermittently with their team. Bynum was supposed to be back, and I don't remember the last time I saw him on camera playing basketball. Pau has been out frequently since he got their midseason. My question is the same as Dusty's can they get all of these pieces working on the fly. Can the Zenmaster really bring Zen to this bunch?
The Shaq trade has opened things up for Amare. I said two types of basketball don't win championships. Check that. Phx can put Shaq in and let him be Shaq from awhile ago and freak teams out and then start running again. This trade seeemed stupid, but really Steve Kerr made a balls out move that has made the most talented members of his team better. Nash can make passes to anyone. He is going to be great anywhere. Amare has his idol there and has been kicking ass because he can run the middle because the shot blocker or enforcer of the team has to stay on Shaq. He has really been scary.
Golden State or Denver could be good for seven in the opening round depending on who either team draws in as the number one or two seed in an opponent...
Lebron is better, but his team is not much better than last year's...
The number of elipses and paranthetical notations in this post was obnoxious.
More to come soon. The Captain signing off for now...
So if I am not going to write a homer column like Dusty then what the fuck am I supposed to write about? Well ladies (if there are any ladies that read this) and gents (the three of you)if you hadn't noticed the league has a few interesting plot lines that have emerged as we have gone along. I am going to give some cursory treatments of some things that you all need to be aware of going into the last part of the season...
The Coach of the Year debate can only between the following three men: Reggie Theus, Mo Cheeks, and Nate McMillan. For those of you who want to pick teams with winning percentages over .600 you don't get it. You really don't understand coaching. This is not college ball folks. College coaches can win games for their teams much more often than pro coaches. "Great" pro coaches have players like Kobe, T-Mac and Yao, Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer, Chris Paul and Tyson Chandler, or KG and the Truth with Ray-Ray when his body permits. I think the coach of the year is a person that defies the odds with a team that people would look at on paper and say they shouldn't win. Teams look to these teams on the schedule and say there is a win because these guys will not be able to find their asses with both hands. The three that I just listed have kept their teams in games and have them playing competively in every game. The BallSacs, The Seventy Suckers, and the team of the future are not tanking their seasons though we all thought it would be more productive if they did from game one. The 76'ers will make the playoffs because they are in one of the worst conferences of any season in basketball league ever, even if they have a couple of good teams now.
- Reggie Theus- He get's points for the suits with silk scarfs sticking out of his suit. Very nice. The BallSacs are depending on Ron Artest to anchor their team and they have been succesful. Ask the good people in Auburn Hills the last time that happened. Sacto has been playing .500 ball and would be in the playoffs in the East. They never lay down. On a team that everyone thought would be on par with Memphis and Minnesota record wise at the beginning of the season I would have to say that I am impressed. I accused Theus of getting the other team high on paint fumes earlier in the season, but after seeing the BallSacs giving everyone a hard time no matter when or where they play them I am thinking that the Maloofs might be importing Vegas to whatever team's locker room they are playing. Every team looks like they are hungover when they play Sacto. They look like they stayed out drinking for free and going to houses of ill repute. It is the only excuse for a team with Kevin Martin (poor man's Monta), Ron Artest (headcase), and a collection of players that really shouldn't be winning games) together being competitive every night.
- Mo Cheeks- He is winning in Philly. Philly didn't trade for anyone or resign anyone this last offseason. I wonder where Igoudala goes if he leaves Philly. Thaddeus Young looks good. I am genuinely intrigued by this team because as bad as this team looks they have a better record than Atlanta, New Jersey, and are a game off Toronto. All three of the teams I just mentioned have at least one Max contract player on their teams. NJ had three. Atlanta has Joe Johnson and some legit young players. Toronto has Chris Bosh and a great point guard tandem. Philly's best player has the same nick name as their last best player, a young big man, and a point guard that's biggest value was supposed to be his expiring contract. Mo Cheeks has had this team playing hard all season adn winning games against teams that are more talented in every facet. The Sixers really should be a lottery team even in the East, but they are competing every night.
- Nate McMillan- Greg Oden is in trouble for playing a pick up game this late in the season and Portland is probably going to finish with a winning record. They will still be in the lottery. This team is playing well without one of the most anticipated big men to be drafted in years. Nate had these kids in first place in the West well into the season. The West is one of the best conferences in the history of NBA. 9 teams are going to win fifty games. I hope Dallas is the team to slip out if you had nto already guessed that. This team will be terrifying in a couple of years if the management doesn't do the same thing that Chicago did with a promising group of youngsters.
That's the coaching. The LA situation. Everyone is playing LA up because David Stern and anyone who stands to reap the revenue whirlwind from it has been having recurring wet dreams about an L.A. versus Boston final. Well folks, Boston is legit to come out of the East, and their homecourt is baller. If they get their they can fight. LA is in a bit of a pinch though. What do they do with two guys that were supposed to put them over the top haning played intermittently with their team. Bynum was supposed to be back, and I don't remember the last time I saw him on camera playing basketball. Pau has been out frequently since he got their midseason. My question is the same as Dusty's can they get all of these pieces working on the fly. Can the Zenmaster really bring Zen to this bunch?
The Shaq trade has opened things up for Amare. I said two types of basketball don't win championships. Check that. Phx can put Shaq in and let him be Shaq from awhile ago and freak teams out and then start running again. This trade seeemed stupid, but really Steve Kerr made a balls out move that has made the most talented members of his team better. Nash can make passes to anyone. He is going to be great anywhere. Amare has his idol there and has been kicking ass because he can run the middle because the shot blocker or enforcer of the team has to stay on Shaq. He has really been scary.
Golden State or Denver could be good for seven in the opening round depending on who either team draws in as the number one or two seed in an opponent...
Lebron is better, but his team is not much better than last year's...
The number of elipses and paranthetical notations in this post was obnoxious.
More to come soon. The Captain signing off for now...
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