Alright this is gonna get weird... the following things will make their way into this post pepto bismol, strip poker, and a bullwhip... among other things.
I am bothered by the fact that the Pistons and Celtics series went to 2-2. The Celtics shot almost forty free throws and they couldn't win. This lends more creedence to the Doc Rivers argument I made last post. I am not a rocket scientist, but shit let's think about this for a moment folks. The Celts are a good free throw shooting team, 77%, which is good for 8th in the league. So, let's call it 4 out of 5 which is 32 points free points if they shoot slightly above their average. The Celts lost by 19 points. If I were Wyc Groesbeck I would be slogging back pepto bismol and wondering how I fire Doc Rivers without having every reporter with an original ideal playing the race card on me. If he fires Doc it will happen, the only thing he could do to cause more problems for himself is showing up to a Red Sox game in an Indiana Jones costume and nailing John Lester with a bullwhip, while screaming that the Martians were about to suck Machu Pichu and Fenway through a hole in the ground never to be seen again.
So, that's bad enough, but let's go to this more important issue. The thing that has been shown here is we are looking at a team that will not be defeated by anything but their own ineptitude in the Celtics. I think the mustache is going to have to pull all the stops out to get Boston to the finals and playing for the Larry O'Brien trophy. The mustache better have pictures of Joe Dumars in a strip poker game with Greg Popovitch and R.C. Buford playing for the rights to obscure Euro draft picks that someone has to take at the first opportunity. This would explain the Darko Milicic pick. It would also explain why there is no way that the mustache would be ok with a Spurs and Pistons finals, even if they are better teams this year than the other teams. That's questionable with the Spurs and Lakers, but with the C's and Doc at the the helm there is no question. I am not saying teh Celtics don't have more talent than the Pistons, but someone has to have a battle plan. The Celts don't have one. When Antonio McDyess starts looking like one of the best quick release shooters in the game against you maybe you have to start asking questions. What does the mustache have in store? Maybe nothing, maybe something crazy.
The game tonight should be interesting. What will the Spurs do? They are fighting uphill, but they look good when everyone is close to some of the best Mexican food in the country. This might be a positive for guys who are acclimated to the guts bombs that this can induce, and a decided disadvantage for those who are not familiar with the potential for disaster when Montezuma's revenge, Tex Mex style, is involved. If I am the Spurs I am making sure that the Lakers are getting the full service treatment from one the River City's many 24 hour taquerias that can make you feel like you are about to lose vital internal organs.
A post on trade rumors is cooking right now. The Captain signing off for now...
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
I was born a Rambling Man
Some thoughts for you,
The Boston Celtics won their first road game in the playoffs. In the conference finals. Um, talk about backing your way into greatness. Let's think about this for a second. First round they played the Atlanta Hawks. For those of you keeping score at home the Hawks regular season record was eight games under .500. If you are a sixty win team, and you cannot beat a team that has arguabaly one of the most apathetic fan bases in the country that, and backed their way into the playoffs, then that's sign you won't get out of the next round. Unless you play the Cleveland Cavaliers, who are basically like the headless horseman of the NBA. They are terrifying until you figure out that the brains of the operation is a hollow pumpkin. The Cavs set offense makes Jeff Van Gundy look like an offensive guru. Which brings me to an interesting proposition? If Doc Rivers doesn't get a championship with this team, and he won't, how many seasons does he get to coach them. If they get embarrased in the finals, and they will if they get there, does Doc get fired? Does Doc get fired if they don't make the finals? I really want to know because it would be hard to fire a sixty win coach, unless that coach made it abundantly clear during the playoffs that his strategy didn't figure into it at all. Doc has done nothing if not that by having a superior team in the previous two series and dragging the series out to seven games somehow. If JVG were doing this wouldn't people be up in arms about this? People in Houston bristled when he had a team playing above their potential because he was a curmudgeon and he refused to give up the four hair come over. Thank you for finally giving that up Jeff. Doc should have been fired last year. He has a great team this year, that doesn't make him a great coach.
Detroit has one of the best benches in the league. I almost mentioned Rodney Stuckey in my preview, and I would have looked really smart if I had. This going to be rough for the Pistons if Chauncey isn't full strength. It would be interesting to me to see what would possibly motivate Sheed to turn this into his own personal vendetta to win.
LA and San Antonio is interesting. Kobe is mindblowing, now that I have gotten that of the way for Darko, I would like to talk about something else in this series. There have been an inordinant amount of make up calls in this series. Anytime the Spurs look like they are gaining momentum the game and the officials or foul shooting the Lakers will get a call somewhere. Take the we shouldn't have called a tech on Derek Fisher call on the next possesion. OR the fact that if Bob Horry had fouled Kobe the way Turiaf fouled Ginobli in garbage minutes we would be hearing about a possible suspension. I am wondering if Stern has a Manchurian Candidate thing going on with the officials in both the Boston series and this one to make sure that the officials do their part to provide the most lucrative finals (commercially) since MJ was playing. That being said the Spurs looked tired the first two games and were able to recover well for a third game. I am wondering if they have enough to get it done down the homestretch.
The Mavs are shopping Josh Howard? The Ponies want to get rid of one of the only athletes on their roster? I bet his trade value is through the rough after his recent confessionals on Micheal Irvin's radio show too. A quick aside on this, if you were going to confess to anything in front of Mike Irvin I bet talking about smoking pot in front of him would be like telling your grandmother that you have jaywalked once in your life. Irvin's exploits off the field are almost as well known as his palymaking on the field. I bet when they were off the air during commercial breaks Irvin was telling the young man about snorting elbows off of strippers asses, while Nate Newton bench pressed his own weight in pot. Right before the commercial break is over and Irvin has told a story that makes Howard feel he has to say something, cue the music, so Josh what are your thoughts on partying with some smoke? Roll tape. Speaking of...
Joakim Noah just got charged with possesion of the devil's lettuce, which is about as surprising as John McCain interviewing a fascist for his running mate...
Alright I'm done, The Captain signing off for now...
The Boston Celtics won their first road game in the playoffs. In the conference finals. Um, talk about backing your way into greatness. Let's think about this for a second. First round they played the Atlanta Hawks. For those of you keeping score at home the Hawks regular season record was eight games under .500. If you are a sixty win team, and you cannot beat a team that has arguabaly one of the most apathetic fan bases in the country that, and backed their way into the playoffs, then that's sign you won't get out of the next round. Unless you play the Cleveland Cavaliers, who are basically like the headless horseman of the NBA. They are terrifying until you figure out that the brains of the operation is a hollow pumpkin. The Cavs set offense makes Jeff Van Gundy look like an offensive guru. Which brings me to an interesting proposition? If Doc Rivers doesn't get a championship with this team, and he won't, how many seasons does he get to coach them. If they get embarrased in the finals, and they will if they get there, does Doc get fired? Does Doc get fired if they don't make the finals? I really want to know because it would be hard to fire a sixty win coach, unless that coach made it abundantly clear during the playoffs that his strategy didn't figure into it at all. Doc has done nothing if not that by having a superior team in the previous two series and dragging the series out to seven games somehow. If JVG were doing this wouldn't people be up in arms about this? People in Houston bristled when he had a team playing above their potential because he was a curmudgeon and he refused to give up the four hair come over. Thank you for finally giving that up Jeff. Doc should have been fired last year. He has a great team this year, that doesn't make him a great coach.
Detroit has one of the best benches in the league. I almost mentioned Rodney Stuckey in my preview, and I would have looked really smart if I had. This going to be rough for the Pistons if Chauncey isn't full strength. It would be interesting to me to see what would possibly motivate Sheed to turn this into his own personal vendetta to win.
LA and San Antonio is interesting. Kobe is mindblowing, now that I have gotten that of the way for Darko, I would like to talk about something else in this series. There have been an inordinant amount of make up calls in this series. Anytime the Spurs look like they are gaining momentum the game and the officials or foul shooting the Lakers will get a call somewhere. Take the we shouldn't have called a tech on Derek Fisher call on the next possesion. OR the fact that if Bob Horry had fouled Kobe the way Turiaf fouled Ginobli in garbage minutes we would be hearing about a possible suspension. I am wondering if Stern has a Manchurian Candidate thing going on with the officials in both the Boston series and this one to make sure that the officials do their part to provide the most lucrative finals (commercially) since MJ was playing. That being said the Spurs looked tired the first two games and were able to recover well for a third game. I am wondering if they have enough to get it done down the homestretch.
The Mavs are shopping Josh Howard? The Ponies want to get rid of one of the only athletes on their roster? I bet his trade value is through the rough after his recent confessionals on Micheal Irvin's radio show too. A quick aside on this, if you were going to confess to anything in front of Mike Irvin I bet talking about smoking pot in front of him would be like telling your grandmother that you have jaywalked once in your life. Irvin's exploits off the field are almost as well known as his palymaking on the field. I bet when they were off the air during commercial breaks Irvin was telling the young man about snorting elbows off of strippers asses, while Nate Newton bench pressed his own weight in pot. Right before the commercial break is over and Irvin has told a story that makes Howard feel he has to say something, cue the music, so Josh what are your thoughts on partying with some smoke? Roll tape. Speaking of...
Joakim Noah just got charged with possesion of the devil's lettuce, which is about as surprising as John McCain interviewing a fascist for his running mate...
Alright I'm done, The Captain signing off for now...
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Final Four Part 2
OK, just before game time I am going to give you my thoughts on the SPures and Lakers series, as well as a few other things.
Alright here is how I see it
Tony Parker vs. Derek Fisher: This one easily favors the Spurs. In fact if Parker doesn't get forty in a game this series I will be sorely disappointed. There is no way that Fish can stay in front Tony. I do have to mention .4 seconds for the millionth time just for Dusty's benefit.
Kobe vs. Edward Scissorhands (Bruce Bowen): Kobe will get his, and Bruce is noticably slower this year. However, he is damned annoying and should give Kobe fits by just generally being a dirty and cagey defender.
Ginobli vs. Odom: Manu will determine the outcome of at least one game in this series. He is the second best player on the court late in the game in this series behind Kobe. Ginobli beats Odom as an X factor. Odom will be dangerous if he isn't kept off the boards. His real value are the garbage points he gets.
Oberto vs Pau: Gasol. Not really much to analyze here, but don't be surprised to see some hard fouls from the Argentine.
Vlad Radmanovic vs. Tim Duncan: Um... I don't really need to say anything here either. Duncan will get loose for over thirty at least twice this series. Mark it. There is no one on the Lakers that can slow him down defensively. The only thing they have are lots of warm bodies to throw at him. You will see Vlad, Walton, Turiaf, and Odom run at Duncan.
Benches: I think the SPurs have the edge here for one big reason. They are more experienced, yes, but they are just mean. Robert Horry will commit his obligatory should we suspend him or not foul in the series. Michael Finley will shoot threes at backbreaking times. This series is going to get chippy. The Spurs are meaner though, and it will help them. If the Spurs win this series they will be the most hated team in years because they will have done it by beating the ever living shit out of the up and coming the NBA's glitter and glam team on the West coast. David Stern and the mustache are going to do everything in their considerable power to make this a Boston and LA finals. The difference in rating between that finals set and a San Antonio and Detroit series is staggering. I wouldn't be surprised to see Joey Crawford reffing hald the games in this series and sneering wildly at Duncan and Pop the whole time. Dick Bevetta could be prominitely involved too.
Coaches: This one is a draw. The two best coaches in the league going head to head. Should be good.
Other thoughts- If this Melo for Richard Jefferson trade goes through it will be mind bottling. You know when your thoughts get all trapped in your head like their in a bottle... One of the best pure scorers in the league who hasn't even hit his prime being traded for Richard Jefferson? How in the hell is that possible. Do the Nuggets enjoy trading for injury prone players who used to play in New Jersey? Really, how in the hell could they actually be considering this? The guy has some off court issues, but it isn't like he is J.R. Rider.
The Bulls won the lottery, more come uppances for teams that tank it. The Bulls hit the jackpot. They have to take Micheal Beasley first. That gives them the lowpost scorer they needed and then they can package Ty Thomas and Drew Gooden for something decent, except fo the fact that the Bulls never make trades that make them any better. See Larry Hughes.
The Captain signing off for now...
Alright here is how I see it
Tony Parker vs. Derek Fisher: This one easily favors the Spurs. In fact if Parker doesn't get forty in a game this series I will be sorely disappointed. There is no way that Fish can stay in front Tony. I do have to mention .4 seconds for the millionth time just for Dusty's benefit.
Kobe vs. Edward Scissorhands (Bruce Bowen): Kobe will get his, and Bruce is noticably slower this year. However, he is damned annoying and should give Kobe fits by just generally being a dirty and cagey defender.
Ginobli vs. Odom: Manu will determine the outcome of at least one game in this series. He is the second best player on the court late in the game in this series behind Kobe. Ginobli beats Odom as an X factor. Odom will be dangerous if he isn't kept off the boards. His real value are the garbage points he gets.
Oberto vs Pau: Gasol. Not really much to analyze here, but don't be surprised to see some hard fouls from the Argentine.
Vlad Radmanovic vs. Tim Duncan: Um... I don't really need to say anything here either. Duncan will get loose for over thirty at least twice this series. Mark it. There is no one on the Lakers that can slow him down defensively. The only thing they have are lots of warm bodies to throw at him. You will see Vlad, Walton, Turiaf, and Odom run at Duncan.
Benches: I think the SPurs have the edge here for one big reason. They are more experienced, yes, but they are just mean. Robert Horry will commit his obligatory should we suspend him or not foul in the series. Michael Finley will shoot threes at backbreaking times. This series is going to get chippy. The Spurs are meaner though, and it will help them. If the Spurs win this series they will be the most hated team in years because they will have done it by beating the ever living shit out of the up and coming the NBA's glitter and glam team on the West coast. David Stern and the mustache are going to do everything in their considerable power to make this a Boston and LA finals. The difference in rating between that finals set and a San Antonio and Detroit series is staggering. I wouldn't be surprised to see Joey Crawford reffing hald the games in this series and sneering wildly at Duncan and Pop the whole time. Dick Bevetta could be prominitely involved too.
Coaches: This one is a draw. The two best coaches in the league going head to head. Should be good.
Other thoughts- If this Melo for Richard Jefferson trade goes through it will be mind bottling. You know when your thoughts get all trapped in your head like their in a bottle... One of the best pure scorers in the league who hasn't even hit his prime being traded for Richard Jefferson? How in the hell is that possible. Do the Nuggets enjoy trading for injury prone players who used to play in New Jersey? Really, how in the hell could they actually be considering this? The guy has some off court issues, but it isn't like he is J.R. Rider.
The Bulls won the lottery, more come uppances for teams that tank it. The Bulls hit the jackpot. They have to take Micheal Beasley first. That gives them the lowpost scorer they needed and then they can package Ty Thomas and Drew Gooden for something decent, except fo the fact that the Bulls never make trades that make them any better. See Larry Hughes.
The Captain signing off for now...
Monday, May 19, 2008
Final Four!
"As long as we keep winning, I'm fine."
Manu Ginobli
Not a bad statement. We have the Conference finals ahead of us with the combatants now decided. So here you go, the Captain's preview for the final four at the grown ups table.
Detroit vs. Boston
Well, I think it will be interesting to see if Doc Rivers can confuse his players even further with irregular rotations, and just going with what works from game to game, rather than coming up with a strategy to win games that is specific to the circumstances they face. That was a Moby Dick style run on sentence there. Melville would be proud. It should be interesting to see if KG shows any extra motivation to show up his old skip on the other sideline, but my guess is that KG has less against Flip than he has against the guy with the largest collection of Cosby sweaters in the world. I would give you a player against player break down for this one, but we never know who Doc will play off the bench from game to game so I can't do that. I can give you a starting five comparison and go from there.
Chauncey vs. Rajon: Billups has the Mr. Clutch label. Billups is getting old though. I am wondering if Rajon Rondo doesn't just put his mind to running by Billups every time he gets the opportunity. Billups is a big though, it will be interesting to see what happens when they body up against one another. Billups could post up Rondo regularly and if the help isn't there he should be able to score at will. This is a youth vs. experience battle. Billups gets the edge, only because I don't think the Celtics have any plays drawn up for Rajon other than just letting him run into the middle. Chauncey will muscle Rajon around the court when he feels like it.
Rip Hamilton vs. Ray Allen: Which Ray Allen is showing up? The fans in Boston have been searching for this man like he's Bobby Fisher. He couldn't make a shot against a Cavs team that gave him opportunities. Rip is the best player of his generation offensively without the ball in his hands. Ray Allen is not up to chasing this guy all over the floor.
Tayshaun vs. The Truth: This could determine the series right here. This is the key match up because Pierce is the only person who has scored at will for the Celts, and he will be defended by Kentucky's version of Stretch Armstrong. Prince is one of the best defenders in the league. I would flip a coin to decide whether I would want Tayshaun or Shane Battier defending a swing man for all the marbles.
KG vs. Sheed: The next most interesting match up in the series. Sheed can score on KG. He is one of the few power forwards in the league that can match up with KG. Will he want to? I don't know. Can you predict the winning lottery numbers? Sheed can dominate, but KG is fierce. I expect a record to be set for stink eye exchanges with these two guys in a series. Sheed is the one guy in the league that I can picture hitting KG for mouthing off or posturing too aggressively. Sheed is the Martin Riggs of the NBA.
McDyess vs. Perkins: Antonio McDyess has the experience. Perkins has the youth. It's a wash
Benches: Boston's bench doesn't know who is going to play. Detroit wins.
A kicker here, Boston has to win a road game at the Palace if they are going to win because Detroit will take a game in Boston.
San Antonio vs. LA
This is the real series...
I have been hoping for this series because it will showcase a rivalry that could peak during this series. That's saying something because this ranges from .4 seconds to Kobe crying on camera. This should be a dogfight. Both teams are playing really well. San Antonio methodically made the game their own for game 7. LA destroyed the Jazz. In fact I need to take a little longer to figure this one out. More on the match up before the game on Wednesday.
The Captain signing off for now...
Manu Ginobli
Not a bad statement. We have the Conference finals ahead of us with the combatants now decided. So here you go, the Captain's preview for the final four at the grown ups table.
Detroit vs. Boston
Well, I think it will be interesting to see if Doc Rivers can confuse his players even further with irregular rotations, and just going with what works from game to game, rather than coming up with a strategy to win games that is specific to the circumstances they face. That was a Moby Dick style run on sentence there. Melville would be proud. It should be interesting to see if KG shows any extra motivation to show up his old skip on the other sideline, but my guess is that KG has less against Flip than he has against the guy with the largest collection of Cosby sweaters in the world. I would give you a player against player break down for this one, but we never know who Doc will play off the bench from game to game so I can't do that. I can give you a starting five comparison and go from there.
Chauncey vs. Rajon: Billups has the Mr. Clutch label. Billups is getting old though. I am wondering if Rajon Rondo doesn't just put his mind to running by Billups every time he gets the opportunity. Billups is a big though, it will be interesting to see what happens when they body up against one another. Billups could post up Rondo regularly and if the help isn't there he should be able to score at will. This is a youth vs. experience battle. Billups gets the edge, only because I don't think the Celtics have any plays drawn up for Rajon other than just letting him run into the middle. Chauncey will muscle Rajon around the court when he feels like it.
Rip Hamilton vs. Ray Allen: Which Ray Allen is showing up? The fans in Boston have been searching for this man like he's Bobby Fisher. He couldn't make a shot against a Cavs team that gave him opportunities. Rip is the best player of his generation offensively without the ball in his hands. Ray Allen is not up to chasing this guy all over the floor.
Tayshaun vs. The Truth: This could determine the series right here. This is the key match up because Pierce is the only person who has scored at will for the Celts, and he will be defended by Kentucky's version of Stretch Armstrong. Prince is one of the best defenders in the league. I would flip a coin to decide whether I would want Tayshaun or Shane Battier defending a swing man for all the marbles.
KG vs. Sheed: The next most interesting match up in the series. Sheed can score on KG. He is one of the few power forwards in the league that can match up with KG. Will he want to? I don't know. Can you predict the winning lottery numbers? Sheed can dominate, but KG is fierce. I expect a record to be set for stink eye exchanges with these two guys in a series. Sheed is the one guy in the league that I can picture hitting KG for mouthing off or posturing too aggressively. Sheed is the Martin Riggs of the NBA.
McDyess vs. Perkins: Antonio McDyess has the experience. Perkins has the youth. It's a wash
Benches: Boston's bench doesn't know who is going to play. Detroit wins.
A kicker here, Boston has to win a road game at the Palace if they are going to win because Detroit will take a game in Boston.
San Antonio vs. LA
This is the real series...
I have been hoping for this series because it will showcase a rivalry that could peak during this series. That's saying something because this ranges from .4 seconds to Kobe crying on camera. This should be a dogfight. Both teams are playing really well. San Antonio methodically made the game their own for game 7. LA destroyed the Jazz. In fact I need to take a little longer to figure this one out. More on the match up before the game on Wednesday.
The Captain signing off for now...
Hi, I'm an NBA Writer.
I think NBA writers are sometimes paid by the overstatement. Like Chris Sheridan on ESPN.com calling yesterday's game seven between Boston and the Lebrons "epic." Maybe I'm wrong, or maybe too many years of covering the Eastern Conference has turned Sheridan's brain into jelly. What exactly makes a game "epic" to begin with?
Is it the fact that it's a game seven? Nah. Nobody gave a shit about game seven of the 2005 NBA finals besides Detroit and San Antonio fans.
Is it when we see an epic duel between two superstars? Lebron and Pierce both went for more than forty points! Ok, this is where I slam on the breaks of the crazy train we're on (finally hurling Randy Rhodes' overrated corpse on the track). You want to know why Lebron finally scored forty-five this game? Because he put up a shot anytime the ball came within a cat's fart of him. He was worse than thirty percent from 3, and he attempted ELEVEN 3's! I know 'Bron is amazing, but seriously, get a fucking conscience.
Kevin Garnett said everyone just got the hell out of Pierce's way in the game. Oh good, now Doc Rivers has the Celtics playing 1 on 4, just like the fucking Cavs. You know what would've been epic? Lebron going for 45 while shooting an overall of 45% or better. The Celtics could've been epic if they'd learned how to move THE DAMN BASKETBALL. There was a period during this game where my father was yelling at the tv about the lack of passing by the Celtics (who failed to score on consecutive isolation plays), and Boston calls time-out, comes back and moves the ball beautifully and scores, then they promptly move back to isolation plays again.
Boston, you were lucky to get out of that series alive. Have fun with Detroit. If the Pistons show up, you're totally fucked.
You know, now that I think about it, this was an epic game. Epically bad coaching. Nice job to Doc Rivers and MIke Brown.
The Lakers, Hornets or Spurs are going to annihilate you guys.
Ok, I'm going to work.
-Dusty
Is it the fact that it's a game seven? Nah. Nobody gave a shit about game seven of the 2005 NBA finals besides Detroit and San Antonio fans.
Is it when we see an epic duel between two superstars? Lebron and Pierce both went for more than forty points! Ok, this is where I slam on the breaks of the crazy train we're on (finally hurling Randy Rhodes' overrated corpse on the track). You want to know why Lebron finally scored forty-five this game? Because he put up a shot anytime the ball came within a cat's fart of him. He was worse than thirty percent from 3, and he attempted ELEVEN 3's! I know 'Bron is amazing, but seriously, get a fucking conscience.
Kevin Garnett said everyone just got the hell out of Pierce's way in the game. Oh good, now Doc Rivers has the Celtics playing 1 on 4, just like the fucking Cavs. You know what would've been epic? Lebron going for 45 while shooting an overall of 45% or better. The Celtics could've been epic if they'd learned how to move THE DAMN BASKETBALL. There was a period during this game where my father was yelling at the tv about the lack of passing by the Celtics (who failed to score on consecutive isolation plays), and Boston calls time-out, comes back and moves the ball beautifully and scores, then they promptly move back to isolation plays again.
Boston, you were lucky to get out of that series alive. Have fun with Detroit. If the Pistons show up, you're totally fucked.
You know, now that I think about it, this was an epic game. Epically bad coaching. Nice job to Doc Rivers and MIke Brown.
The Lakers, Hornets or Spurs are going to annihilate you guys.
Ok, I'm going to work.
-Dusty
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