The Space Wrangler

Back from his trip as a Space Wrangler. Dusty is off to demolish some navy blue Ford Falcons in the never-ending pursuit to fight Fascist dictatorships in Latin America. He may in the future find time to be Travelin' Light, but today it is time for a reprieve to bring you the worst jokes and random commentary on the NBA season at this moment.

Eat your heart out Walton.

Last night, after the longest week in the history of time, I found some time to enjoy basketball. Here's what I found:

Utah v New Orleans

Kyle Korver joined the Utah Jazz in the first moments of the New Year. Since that time, the Jazz have gone 20-7. Korver has continued to shoot approximately 35% from downtown. Korver's addition was seen as the Jazz filling that need for an outside assassin. Now 35% is alright. To quote Caesar when presented with the alabastor bathing vessel: "Nice. It's not thrilling, but nice." The Jazz still seem to be pleased with him as a role player though. Here's a statistic that might make Caesar excited. Korver is shooting 46% from the field. He was shooting barely 39% for Philly. "Treasure from around the Empire!" It's a nice statistic since he's mostly a jump shooter. I mean, I'd take it.

His steals are way down from the first of the season, but his blocking rate is better. Jet said earlier this year that steals might be the most overrated statistic, since in order to get a steal a player usually has to sacrifice their position, which means they get burned a lot when the steal gamble doesn't pay off. So basically, Korver has become a more valuable defender. "Treasure Bath!"

I'm sure Jazz fans are likely the most excited about the fact that the Jazz have gone 20-7 for them. Having a high winning percentage in the Western Conference this year is some much important than it has been in longer than I can remember. So what is Korver's overall contribution? It's not the most obvious impact, but something is there. Let's call it the Butterfly Effect.

How OKC made NO a better basketball town

Oklahoma City is a boring capital to a boring state, but they do have fine collegiate athletics programs. The lameness and college connection made them a great place to host a displaced NBA franchise. People in Oklahoma needed something else to be excited about (lots of free time), and the Hornets needed a home. People in Oklahoma were excited. They brought in the great tradition from college basketball of standing until the home team makes a bucket. So classy. So supportive. The best part?

New Orleans' fans kept the tradition alive! I loved it. However, you could definitely tell that this crowd was not experienced. The game started slowly. There were no field goals for the first two minutes. The first serious opportunity to score was at the ten minute mark with David West at the charity stripe. So, here, dear reader is the question to you. When can the N.O. fans sit?

(wait)

(wait)

If you said after the first made free throw. You would be in good company, because that's when the Hornets fans sat.

While you were being a loyal and good fan, you were still not being a great fan. The great fan never sits until the home team makes a legit field goal. Oh well, it's a start for them.

Boston v Charlotte

Did you know Gerald Wallace has had four concussions in the last four seasons? I didn't. Damn. You gotta watch out for those 'bows, son.

Was Nazr Mohammed brought to the Bobcats for veteran leadership? I mean, he does have two championship rings.


Miscellaneous

I remember watching the Spurs play the Lakers in the 2003 playoffs. I remember at one of our playoff viewing parties (still my favorite post season, ever), my friend Megan pointed out that the Spurs would assuredly beat the Lakers, because the Spurs brought good players off the bench, and the Lakers brought out Jannero Pargo (had to look up the spelling of his first name).

Did you know Pargo is kicking ass right now? The announcers brought that to my attention. Apparently scoring about eight and a half a game in about eighteen and a half minutes is pretty kick ass. Who knew?

Peja Stojakovic will now be known as Jesus. This is not the result of his play, but simply because I think he looks like Jim Caviezel.

Does Lebron need a nickname? The color guy on the Cavs broadcast last night called him "L-Train" when he slammed home a fast break in the lane. I like L-Train, but will giving him a nickname marginalize his career? Lebron wants to be Jordan (or better), and MJ was the only pseudo nickname he had. Kobe is just Kobe (Mamba doesn't count, you can't give yourself a nickname). Russell was Russell. Wilt Chamberlin doesn't have a nickname (to my knowledge), but rumor is he called his johnson "Rusty". Then there are the guys who did have the nicknames: Earl the Pearl, Chief (Parish), the Dream, Reign Man, and who could forget that George Miken's teammates lovingly called him "Tits".

So is Lebron's lack of a nickname a result of a marketing campaign, or because people in Cleveland have no imagination?

Well it's been a Long Strange Trip (copywrited? REALLY?). Ok, it's fun hangin with you Pilgrims, but I've gotta Keep On Rollin'. Every game matters now.

-Dusty